The Battery's Down .......... Jake Wilson

This Is Your Life .......... Benj Pasek

You Should Be In That .......... Ana Nogueira

Like Love .......... Jake Wilson

Tell Me So .......... Julian Boehning

That's Bull .......... Rob Sturtz

Natural .......... Jake Wilson

You're In Vegas .......... Andrew Keenan-Bolger

With Your Hands .......... Leslie Kritzer

Just This One Time .......... Jake Wilson

Sea Legs .......... Andrew Keenan-Bolger

Down! Down! Down! .......... Tyler Maynard

JAKE

As you go to pursue your dreams
It's not as easy as it seems
Real life is different than those
Television shows

So months go by and still no work
You bide your time as an office clerk
You can't believe how much your life
Really blows

You're ready to go but
The Battery's Down
You'll take any show but
The Battery's Down
Your life's no blast
When you can't get cast, 'cause
The Battery's Down

[Thanks to jms0927 for lyrics]

CORTNEY
Hello? What the F are you doing?
Like woah. What is going on man?
It's so like, your life that you're screwing.
Oh no, get back on the track Jack.

Your desktop is Sweeney Todd.
This comforter's Cabaret.
It looks like Leo Bloom threw up in your room,
See, Jake, what I'm trying to say:

RYAN
Dude, you're gay!

CORTNEY
No! Your ringtone is Piazza.

RYAN
These curtains are Wicked green.

CORTNEY
And I don't now what tis is,
but it's something Les Miz.

RYAN
And here's you last Halloween...

DANI
So Jake, Jake, Jake
you gotta take a good look at yourself

CORTNEY
Take a good look

DANI & CORTNEY
'Cause Jake, Jake, Jake

RYAN
You got a Annie Oakley action figure on your shelf.

CORTNEY
This is your life. Yeah, it's cliche.
But it's all you talk about all damn day.
So don't you go now and throw it all away.
This is your life, you're gonna be okay.

BENJ, DANI, RYAN
Hello? What the F are you doing?
Like woah. What is going on man?
Hello? What the F are you doing?
Like woah. What is going on man?

ADAM, JUSTIN, NINA (Overlapping)
No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh
Grr. K, sure. Don't be Mister Insecure!
No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh
Grr. K, sure. Don't be Mister Insecure!

NINA
You get faint for J.R.B.

DANI
Michael John makes you slightly hard.

NINA
And if some night you're jerking,
and not a porno is working,
you got the last two Tony's DVR'd.

BENJ
Mary Testa kinda makes you hot.

JUSTIN
Barbara Cook makes you twitch and sweat.

BENJ & JUSTIN
And you know that we know
you slept with Donna Vivino
simply 'cause she was the first Young Cosette.

DANI
And Jake, Jake, Jake
When Laura Bell's last note was blown

NINA
"Than before!"

CORTNEY, DANI, NINA
You, Jake, Jake, Jake
You know you YouTube posted
everyone leave Laura alone!

JAKE
Leave Laura alone!

CORTNEY, DANI, JUSTIN, RYAN
This is your life - Yea, it's cliche.
But it's all you talk about all damn day.

ADAM, BENJ, NINA (Overlapping)
Hello? What the F are you doing?
Like woah. What is going on man?
It's so like, your life that you're screwing.
Oh no, get back on the track Jack.

ALL BUT JAKE
So don't you go now and throw it all away.
This is your life.

CORTNEY
You're gonna be...

MISCELLANEOUS
To us!
Free chips at Blockhead's!
Joe Iconis!
Kevin! Jeffrey!
Laurie Beechman!
Don't Tell Mama's
B.D. Wong!
Eating at Angus!

And to Michigan!
On Our Own!
The Keenan-Bolgers!
Drinks at Vintage!
Steve Oremus!
Lauren Molina playin' Cello!
Winning Wicked lotto tickets!

To being gay!
Dance belts!
Splash!
Lippa's Wild Party!
Cheyenne Jackson!
Bare!
Mama Rose!
To NYMTF!
Kate Shindle winning Miss America!
Marci, Zina, Taylor!
Ahrens! Flaherty!

And of course to crying when TiMoune becomes a tree.

JAKE
Oh, TiMoune...
She followed her dream...
Even when it seemed it wasn't hers to obtain.
She didn't quit or complain.
No! she reached for it. Didn't ignore it.
What am I doing, sitting here stewing?

Maybe my friends are right...
That I need to fight... Others
And so I'll fight. Ahh...
Starting tonight, starting tonight!

MISCELLANEOUS
To Bat Boy!
Kerry Butler!
Law And Order!
Adam Guettel!
Michael John!
Jeanine Tesori!
Duncan Sheik!
Sing Out Louise!

To Walmartopia!
Jane Krakowski!
Julie Taymor Puppets!
In The Heights!
To Cheyenne!...We said that!

ADAM
To Larry O'Key-change?

ALL BUT JAKE
And to Jake! To Jake! To Jake!

JAKE
This i my life! Yea, it's cliche.
But it's all I think about all damn day.
So I can't go now and throw it all away...

OTHERS (Overlapping)
All damn day.
Don't throw it all away...

ALL
All away...
All away...

JAKE
This is my...

Group A
...Life! Yea, it's cliche.
But it's all you talk about all damn day.
So don't you go now and throw it all away.

Group B
Hello? What the F are you doing?
Like woah. What is going on man?
It's so like, your life that you're screwing.
Oh no, get back on the track Jack.
Don't throw it all away.

All
This is your life

JAKE
I'm gonna be okay!

BENJ, DANI, RYAN
Hello? What the F are you doing? Like woah. What is going on man?
Hello? What the F are you doing?

ADAM, JUSTIN, NINA (Overlapping)
No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh
Grr. K, sure. Don't be Mister Insecure!
No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh

ALL
Like woah. This is your life!

[Thanks to jms0927 for lyrics]

MOLLY (Spoken)
So what do you do?

JAKE (Spoken)
I'm an actor...

MOLLY (Spoken)
Anything I've ever seen? I'm sort of a movie snob.

JAKE (Spoken)
No, actually I'm in the theatre.

MOLLY (Spoken)
Oh my god! I love the theatre! Anything I've ever seen?

JAKE (Spoken)
No... I... don't have a job...

MOLLY (Sung)
Oh. My. God.
Have you seen Phantom of the Opera?
It's, like, my all time favorite show

JAKE (Spoken)
Oh yeah?

MOLLY
It's all about this phantom
And he hangs out at the opera
And it's, like, wicked scary...

JAKE (Spoken)
Yeah, I know...

MOLLY
Do you sing really high
'Cause if you sing really high
I bet you'd land that part in no time flat
You could be in that
You'd be great in that
You know something?
You should be in that

JAKE (Spoken)
You know, it really doesn't work that way. It's a little more complicated than just singing really high. Otherwise Broadway
would just be filled with Castrati!

MOLLY (Spoken)
What?

JAKE (Spoken)
Nevermind.

MOLLY (Sung)
Oh. My. God.
Have you ever seen the musical Cats?

JAKE (Spoken)
What?

MOLLY
It's by, like, the very same guy

JAKE (Spoken)
Yeah, I know...

MOLLY
It's all about these cats
And this giant frickin' trash
You should be in that

JAKE
I'd rather die.

MOLLY
I bet you dance really well
Because you walk like a girl
You have to dance well to be a Cat
You could be in that
You'd be great in that
You know, really
You should be in that

JAKE (Sung)
No, listen
Believe it or not
Cats isn't held in the highest esteem
What I really want is to originate a part
To craft a role with the creative team
To be the first to dance the combinations
Eligible to be up for all sorts of nominations
I mean, seriously
That's my dream!

MOLLY
Oh. My. God.
Have you seen the show The One That I Want?
It's, like, the only way you want to get cast!

JAKE (Spoken)
Is that so?

MOLLY
You show up and you sing
And they put you on TV
And then Broadway, it's, like, super fast
Just get a gimmick that's cool
You could be Scattin' Danny
Be all "Greased Lightnin'! Skee Dop Skat!"
You could be in that
You'd be great in that
You know something?
You should be in that

JAKE (Sung)
So, listen
I just remembered, I have a thing
With a friend, I can't believe I forgot

MOLLY (Spoken)
Uhh...

JAKE
So, I gotta run. I'm sad to see this end
But you know how friends are
They're like, well, you know!
This guy's emotions, they're really unsteady
I should have left some time ago
And been with him already
So, seriously -- I gotta go!

MOLLY (Sung)
Oh. My. God.
Have you ever seen the Tony Awards?

JAKE (Spoken)
Take care.

MOLLY
You should, like, totally check them out

JAKE (Spoken)
Great to see ya!

MOLLY
They're all about the theatre
But they show them on TV
Which makes them WAY better!

JAKE (Spoken)
What are you talking about!?

MOLLY
You have to lose 10 pounds
Because they say TV makes you way more fat...

JAKE (Spoken)
Right... bye.

MOLLY
You could be in that
You'd be great in that
You know something?
You should be in that

(Rest is spoken)

JAKE
Right. Thank you. Gotta go. Bye!

MOLLY
Oh, that's ok. I'm off to a party.

JAKE
Oh good. Have fun!

MOLLY
Yeah, it's at my friend Bernie Telsi's?

JAKE
The theatrical casting agent?

MOLLY
He works in theatre? I always thought when he said he was a casting agent, he meant he was a professional papier mache
artist... Huh... Bye!

[Thanks to jms0927 for lyrics]

JAKE
I feel so blue every time I'm around you
It's a feeling that I've never felt before
'Cause each time that you get near to me
I've got this feeling almost like love
Like love, like love

'Cause I want you like love
And I need you like love
You're a girl I, like, love
Yes I do-ooo
'Cause each time that you get near to me
I've got this feeling almost like love

NATALIE
Whoa! Ooh, ooh! Yeah!

JAKE
Under the lights I feel amazing and so alive
It's a feeling that I've often felt before

NATALIE
Often felt before

JAKE
'Cause every time I'm on the stage
I've got this feeling almost like love
Like love, like love

NATALIE (Overlapping)
Like love!

JAKE
'Cause this feeling's like love
And this rush is like love
It's the life I, like, love
Yes it's true!

'Cause every time I'm on the stage
I've got this feeling almost like love

NATALIE (Overlapping)
Every time
Love!

JAKE
Like love!

[Thanks to jms0927 for lyrics]

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GIRLS
Ooo Ooo Ooo
Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo
Ooo Ooo Ooo
Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo

JAKE
You can smoke my four-leaf clover
You can chop my rabbit's foot
You can pick my precious penny
And pal I don't care where it's put

Add up all my lucky numbers
Paint this whole damn world red
You can hold your breath in tunnels
Til your brain burst out your head

You can poke my magic wishbone
You can suck my wishing star
Wear all the charms you won, man
And maybe baby you'll go far

Cause charms mislead
And I am all the luck I need

GIRLS
You're just a natural

Ooo Ooo...

JAKE
How lucky can you get?
Well some are bustin'
Blindly bluffin'
Watch me

ALL
Bump this bet

GIRLS
You're such a natural

Ooo Ooo...

JAKE
You keep your ace in the whole
To see
I'm naturally
On a roll

GIRLS
On a roll
On a roll
On a roll
All my soul
On a roll
On a roll
On a roll
On a roll
All my soul

JAKE
You can keep my lucky horseshoe
When the time is palindrome
Like eleven past eleven
Nevermind, we did that at home

Take my very lucky undies
And swat that spider on the wall
No wait, I love my Calvin's
Screw it!

ALL
I don't care at all

GIRLS
Break...

JAKE
If you break my magic wishbone

GIRLS
Break
Break
Suck...

JAKE
Or if you suck my wishing star

GIRLS
Suck
Suck
All...

JAKE
Wear all the charms you won, man

GIRLS
Won
Won

JAKE
Maybe baby you'll go far

ONE GIRL
Baby you'll go farm

JAKE
Cause

ALL
Charms mislead

JAKE
And I am

ALL
All the luck I need

GIRLS
You're just a natural

Ooo Ooo...

JAKE
The jackpot's just in sight
This Jake's a joker
Kickin' callin'
Cotton

ALL
While tonight

GIRLS
We're just well naturals

Ooo Ooo...

JAKE
You keep your ace in the whole
To see
I'm naturally
On a roll

GIRLS
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

GIRLS
You're just a natural

Ooo Ooo...

JAKE
How lucky can you get?
Well some are bustin'
Blindly bluffin'
Watch me

ALL
Bump this bet

GIRLS
You're such a natural

Ooo Ooo...

JAKE
You keep your ace in the whole
To see
I'm naturally

GIRLS
Bump this bet
You're such a natural

Ooo Ooo...

JAKE
The jackpot's just in sight
This Jake's

GIRLS
Jake

JAKE
A joker

GIRLS
Jake

JAKE
Kickin' callin'

GIRLS
Jake

JAKE
Cotton while tonight!-

NINA
JAKE!

[Thanks to Mii Mii for lyrics]

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