Saturday Night

Two Fairy Tales

Can That Boy Foxtrot!

All Things Bright And Beautiful / Bang! / All Things Bright And Beautiful (Part 2)

The Girls Of Summer

Uptown, Downtown

So Many People

Your Eyes Are Blue

A Moment With You

Marry Me A Little

Happily Ever After

Pour Le Sport

Silly People

There Won't Be Trumpets

It Wasn't Meant To Happen

Who Could Be Blue? / Little White House

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Once upon a time
Once upon a time
There lived a princess
There lived a knight
Who was exceedingly beloved?
Who was devout?
Who had a kingdom?
In a kingdom
Which was perfect
Which was wrerched
Which was carpeted with jewels
Which was under someone's curse
She was beset on every side
On every side it was beset
With handsome princes
With giant trolls
And lesser nobles
And a dragon
Bearing gifts and begging marriage
Bringing famine
She would spurn them
He would pray
And they would kill themselves in duels
And it constantly got worse of course
But the princess soon grew tired
The knight was much inspired
Of all the fires she had fanned
By the misery at hand
As time went on
He thought
She thought I must wed someone
I must do something
To alleviate the sorrow in the land
To alleviate the sorrow in the land
Now there were three
There were three
Princes
Dragons
In particular named
In particular named
Virtue
Falsehood
Kindness
Greed
And Excellent
And Lust
But she could not
He could not
Choose
Refuse the call
At all
He bade his wife
She bade the three appears
Farewell or go he must. Then to the west
She go her wizard to suggest
The knight set off upon his quest
A sort of test
He bore his crest
At her behest
As if possessed
The princely suitors did their best
Nor did the rest
And who'd have guessed
He was obsessed
All three were tested and they passed
He found a priest
She was depressed
He made a fast and was confessed
And served a feast where she was faced
He never ceased
With princes
Until at last he had laid waste
Virtue
And turn to dust the dragon
Kindness
Falsehood
And Excellent
Greed
After many year
And lust
The King her after
After many years
Who'd been abroad in search of truth?
The noble knight
Returned to find
Who'd lost an arm?
The kingdom wretched
Retired to find
All activity suspended
The kingdom perfect
To his dismay he also found
All activity resumed
His daughter mad
He also found to his dismay
With indecision
His wife had died
She had lapsed into a coma
With the waiting
While her suitors
And his children
Had grown restless and offended
Left alone
And so the king to ease her sorrow
Had been starving and were doomed
Passed a curious decree
So the court upon the morrow
That she could marry all three suitors
Proclaimed a holiday to be
Did she feel quietly?
And the day was named for him
No
Did he feel quietly?
And it was wonderful to see
Oh yes
So she lived
And it was wonderful to see
Ever after
So he lived
With Virtue
Not for long
Kindness
Ever watchful for
And Excellence
Falsehood
That's the tale
Greed
Which was read me by my father
And lust
That's a tale
Which was read me by my mother

And there's probably
A moral to be
Pointedly discussed
But it's always been
My favorite
And I read it when I'm gloomy
And though fairy tales are
Foolish that's a
Fairy tale of trust

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BANG

The war commences the enemy awaits
In quivering expectancy
The poor defenses, the penetrable gates
How terrible to be a woman
The time is here
The smell of fear
Like must pervades the air
The bugle sounding
The pistol steady
The blood is pounding
Take aim and ready
Bang
Twenty minutes small talk
Thirty at most
Bang
Two or three to pour the schnapps
Bang, Bang, Bang
Half a minute to propose
The necessary toast
Bang
The tunic opens
Bang
The trousers fall
Bang
The foe is helpless
Back against the wall
Bang
An hour and a quarter over all
And Bang
Twenty minutes to arrange
Those bloody awful flowers
Bang
Can I get away with more?
Bang, Bang, Bang
Then I have to brush my hair
And that could take me hours
Bang
A fit of vapors
Bang
No that's too quaint
Bang
A wracking cough
And then a graceful faint...
Bang
A lengthy lecture
Bang
On self-restrains...
Bang, Bang
Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang
The battle rages
Bang
Whatever ground I gain
I fortify remorselessly
Bang, Bang
The foe engages
Bang
By shifting the terran
How pitiful to be a woman
Bang
Attack
Bang
Retreat
Bang
Lay back
Bang
Reform
Bang, Bang
Outflank
Bang
Deplete
Bang
Move up and then restroom
Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang
The siege succeeding
Bang
The time grows shorter
Bang
She lies there pleading
Bang
I give no quarter
Bang
Foray at the elbow
Salvo at the knee
Bang
Fusillades at breast
And thigh
Bang, Bang, Bang
Then when she's exhausted
Bang
A fresh sortie
Bang
I taste the conquest
Bang
The taste is sweet
Bang, Bang
She lays her arms down
Welcoming defeat
Bang, Bang
Both sides content
Bang
Secure
Bang
Position
Bang, Bang, Bang
All passion spent
Bang
Discuss
Bang
Conditions
How terrible
Bang
How pitiful
Bang
How glorious to be a woman
He is a peacock
I keep forgetting
The quarry senses
A momentary pang
It's all so foolish
Why am I sweating?
The war sommences
Bang

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Now this is the tale of a dame known as Harriet,
Who climbed to the top of the heap from the bottom.
A beautiful life was her aim, and to vary it,
She wanted the sun and moon -- and she got 'em.

She isn't the least exhausted from her climb,
But she does look back from time to time,
And the subject of this evening's quiz
Is who she was and who she is.

Uptown, she's stepping out with a swell.
Downtown, she's holding hands on the El.
Hyphenated Harriet, the nouveau from New Rochelle.

Uptown, she's got the Vanderbilt clans.
Downtown, she's with the sidewalk Cezannes.
Hyphenated Harriet, the nouveau from New Rochelle.

She sits at the Ritz with her splits of Mumms
And starts to pine for a stein with her Village chums,
But with a Schlitz in her mitts down at Fitzroy's Bar,
She dreams of the Ritz, oh it's so schizo.

Uptown, it's Harry Winston she needs,
Downtown, it's strictly zircons and beads.
Ask her, should she be uptown or down?
She's two of the most miserable girls in town.

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Marry me a little,
Love me just enough,
Cry, but not too often,
Play, but not to rough,
Keep a tender distance,
So, we'll both be free.
That's the way it ought to be.
I'm ready!
Marry, me a little
Do it with a will.
Make a few demands
I'm able to fulfill
Want me more than others, not exclusively.
That's the way it ought to be
I'm ready!
I'm ready now!
You can be my best friend
I can be your right arm
We'll go through a fight or two
No harm, no harm

We'll look not too deep,
We'll go not too far.
We won't have to give up a thing,
We'll stay who we are.
Right?
Okay, then, I'm ready!
I'm ready now!
Someone,
Marry me a little,
Love me just enough.
Warm and sweet and easy,
Just the simple stuff
Keep a tender distance
So we'll both be free.
That's the way it ought to be.
I'm ready!
Marry me a little,
Body, heart and soul
Passionate as hell,
But always in control.
Want me first and foremost,
Keep me company.
That's the way it ought to be
I'm ready!
I'm ready now!

Oh, how gently we'll talk,
Oh, how softly we'll tread
All the stings, the ugly things
We'll keep unsaid
We'll build a cocoon of love and respect
You promise whatever you like,
I'll never collect...
Right?
Okay, then I'm ready!
I'm ready now!
Someone...
I'm ready! I'm ready!
I'm ready!

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Lie here with me on the grass
Let the wind be our words
As the night smiles down
Don't they knew don't they
No they don't, do they
Silly people, silly people, silly people

Voices glide by let them pass
Let them float in their words
Till they slowly drown
Don't they know, don't they?
What they want
Silly, silly people
Patient and polite
Crying in their teacups
Shying from the night

When now it smiles it smiles for lovers
When next it smiles it smiles for fools
The last it smiles it smiles for them
The others, the remembers
The truly, silly people
Them and us and all

Lie the with me closer still
You can float in my arms
Till we gently drown
Don't they know don't they
What it means dying
Silly people, silly people...
Float and flow
And down we go
To drown

Those smug little men with their smug little schemes
They forgot one thing:
The play isn't over by a long shot yet!
There are heroes in the world,
Princes and heroes in the world,
And one of them will save us.
Wait and see!
Wait and see!

There won't be trumpets or blots of fire
To say he's coming.
No Roman candles, no angels' choir,
No sound of distant drumming.
He may not be a cavalier,
Tall and graceful, fair and strong.
Doesn't matter,
Just as long as he comes along!
But not with trumpets or lightning flashing
Or shining armor.
He may be daring, he may be dashing,
Or maybe he's a farmer.
We can wait-what's another day?
He has lots of hills to climb.
And a hero
Doesn't come till the nick of time!
Don't look for trumpets or whistles tooting
To guarantee him!
There won't be trumpets but sure as shooting,
You'll know him when you see him!

Don't know when, don't know where,
And I can't even say that I care!
All I know is, the minute you turn and he's suddenly there,
There won't be trumpets!
There are no trumpets!
Who needs trumpets?

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