The Simpsons Main Title Theme

We Do (the Stonecutters' Song)

Dancin' Homer Medley

Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart?

'Round Springfield Medley

Oh, Streetcar! (the Musical)

the Day The Violence Died Medley

Senor Burns

Your Wife Don't Understand You

Kamp Krusty Medley

Treehouse Of Horror V Medley

Honey Roasted Peanuts

boy Scoutz In The Hood Medley

Two Dozen And One Greyhouds Medley

Flaming Moe's

Homer's Barbershop Quartet Medley

A Fish Called Selma

Send In The Clowns

The Monorail Song

Bagged Me A Homer

Bart Sells His Soul Medley

Happy Birthday Lisa

The Simpsons End Credit Theme (Dragnet Version)

Instrumental

Stonecutters' Song

Capital City

Well, kids, there it is! Capital City!

There's a swingin' town I know called... Capital City.
People stop and scream hello in... Capital City.
It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king.
And it makes a king feel like some nutty, cuckoo,
super-king.

Look, it's Tony Bennett!
Hey, good to see you.

It's against the law to frown in... Capital City.
You'll caper like a stupid clown when you chance to see...
Fourth Street and 'D'! Yeah!

Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam,
From Capital City, my home sweet, yeah!
Capital City, that happy-tal city,
It's Capital City,
my home sweet swingin' home!

Capital City! Yeah!

Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart

When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,
But now I've come to looooooove your quirks.

Maggie with her eyes so bright,
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,
Lisa can philosophise, Bart's adept at spinning lies,
Homer's a delightful fella, sorry 'bout the salmonella.
Homer: Heh heh, that's OK.

Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here comes the tricky part.
Oh, won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Marge: Their floors are stick-E-Mart,
Lisa: They made Dad sick-E-Mart,
Bart: Let's hurl a brick-E-Mart,
Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real... D\'oh!

OFF: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: Not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...[held for next three lines]
OFF: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart,
Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart,
Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?
Apu: Not me.

[Thanks to tonzala_555@hotmail.com for lyrics]

Jazzman

When the Jazzman's testifyin',
a faithless man believes.
He can sing you into paradise,
or bring you to your knees.
Jazzman, take my blues away,
Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play.
Jazzman, oh, Jazzman.

New Orleans

Wiggum: Long before the SuperDome,
Where the Saints of football play,
Lived a city that the damned called home,
Hear their hellish roundelay...

Cast: New Orleeeans...
Home of pirates, drunks, and whores!
New Orleeeans...
Tacky, overpriced, souvenir stores!
If you want to go to Hell, you should make that trip
to the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississipp'!

New Orleeeans...
Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile!
New Orleaaans...
Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul!
New Orleeeans...
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank!

New Orleeeans!

Blanche's Song

Marge/Blanche: I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras,
A never ending party - hah!
I'm a faded southern Dame without a dime.

Just a Simple Paperboy

Apu/Steve: I am just a simple paperboy,
No romance do I seek...
I just wanted forty cents,
For my deliveries last week...

Will this bewitching floozy,
Seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paperboy to...
Dooo?

Stella!

Ned/Stanley: STELLLAAAA! STELLLAAAA!
Can't you hear me yella!
You're puttin' me through Hella!
Stella... STELLLAAAA!

The Kindness of Strangers

Marge/Blanche: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the
kindness of strangers...

(music begins)

Cast: You can always depend on the kindness of
strangers...

To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from
dangers...

Marge/Blanche: Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't
regret...

Cast: A stranger's just a friend you haven't met...
You haven't met...
STREETCAR!

Amendment Song

Boy: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
Amendment: I'm not garbage, kid.

I'm an amendment to be
Yes an amendment to be
And I'm hoping that they ratify me
There's a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal for policemen
To beat 'em 'cause there's limits to our liberty
At least I hope and pray that there are
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far

Boy: But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional
But if we CHANGED the Constitution...
Boy: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment: Now you're catching on!

Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It's one of those campy 70s throwbacks that appeal to Generation X-ers
Bart: We need another Vietnam. Thin out their ranks a little.

Boy: But what if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Amendment: Then I"ll crush all opposition to me
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back
I'll say that he's gay
Congressman: Good news, Amendment! They ratified you.
You're in the U.S. Constitution!
Amendment: Oh yeah! Door's open, boys!

(sounds of gun and bomb-toting amendments running into the Capital)

Senor Burns

Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song
Burns will always carry with him.
So I'll settle my score, on the salsa floor
with this vengeful Latin rhythm.
Burns! Conelcorazon de perro!
Senor Burns! El diablo con dinero!
It may not surprise you, but all of us despise you.
Please die and fry. In hell, you rotten;
rich or wretch!
Adios vienjo!

Your Wife Don'T Understand You

South of the Border

South of the border,
Down Mexico way.
That's where I fell in love
When stars above came out to play.

And now as I wander,
My thoughts have restrained,
South of the border
Down Mexico way

She was a picture,
In old Spanish lace.
And just for a tender while
I kissed the smile upon her face.
For it was Fiesta,
And we were so gay,
South of the border
Down Mexico way

(band continues without vocals for ~15 seconds)

Those mission bells told me
That I must not stray.
South of the border,
Down Mexico way!

Ole!

texttext

texttext

Springfield, Springfield

OK, we're young, rich, and full of sugar.
What do we do?
[yelling] Let's go crazy, Broadway style!
[singing]Springfield, Springfield!
It's a hell of a town!
The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down!
The stray dogs go to the animal pound!
Springfield, Springfield!
Springfield, Springfield!
New York, New York!
New York is that-a-way man.
Thanks, kid!
It's a hell-of-a-towwwnnn!!

See My Vest

(Dialog):
Mr Burns: You stay with me, you're the pick of the litter.
Lisa: Maybe we were wrong about Burns on this one...
Smithers: Are you sure you wanna go through with this, Sir,
you do have a very full wardrobe as it is...
Mr Burns: Yes...but not completely full. You see....

(Breaks into song)

Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.

See this hat, 'twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest,

Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers,
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo
Would be best,

So let's prepare these dogs,
Kill two for matching clogs,
See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest.

(Dialog)
Mr Burns: I really like the vest!
Smithers: I gathered that...
Lisa: (gasps) He's gonna make a tuxedo out of our puppies!
Bart: (hums the tune of the song) Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-naaa...
Lisa: Bart!
Bart: Sorry. You gotta admit, it's catchy.

Flaming Moe'S

Baby On Board

Baby on board, how I've adored,
That sign on my car's windowpane
A bounce in my step; loaded with pep,
'Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane.

Call me a square; friend, I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm telling you it's mighty nice
Each trip's a trip to paradise
With my baby on board.

Dr. Zaius

Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!
Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
Troy: And I can sing!
Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
O, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy: What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: I want a second opinion.
Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy.

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
O, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy: Can I play the piano any more?
Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
Troy: Well I couldn't before.
(plays piano)

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
...

Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z

Troy: I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpanzee,
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!

(Statue of Liberty rises)

O my God! I was wrong!
It was Earth, all along!
You've finally made a monkey,
Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey,
Troy: Yes you've
& Apes: finally made a monkey out of me!
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!

texttext

The Monorail Song

Bagged me a Homer

So I spit on my hands, knocked the dirt from my spikes,
And pointed right towards centre field,
This time I'm hitting a home run,
This time the love is for real.

I'll slide... I'll steal... I'll sacrifice
A lovin' fly for you,
I been slumping all season but now I found a reason,
I struck on a love that is true.

I used to play the field,
I used to be a roamer,
But the season's turning 'round for me now,
I finally bagged me a homer.

That's right, I finally bagged me a Homer.

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida

In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey
Don't you know that I'm lovin' you
In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby
Don't you know that I'll always be true

Oh, won't you come with me
And take my hand
Oh, won't you come with me
And walk this land
Please take my hand
In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey
[etc.]

Happy Birthday, Lisa

Instrumental

more simpsons lyrics, please visit:
http://www.snpp.com/guides/lyrics_list.html

http://www.snpp.com/guides/discog.html

Side one: (25:45)

1. The Simpsons Main Title Theme (Extended Version) (1:36)
(Danny Elfman/Alf Clausen)
From the episode Cape Feare (10/7/93)

2. We Do (The Stonecutters' Song) - Marge & Homer Intro; The Stone-
cutters (1:16)
(Alf Clausen/John Swartzwelder)
From the episode Homer The Great (1/8/95)

3. Dancin' Homer (Medley) (1:42)
From the episode Dancin' Homer (11/8/90)
a) Crosstown Bridge - The Simpsons (0:10)
(Alf Clausen)
b) Capital City - Tony Bennett, with The Simpsons (1:32)
(Jeff Martin)

4. Homer & Apu (Medley) (1:54)
From the episode Homer And Apu (2/10/94)
a) Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? - Lisa Intro; Apu & The Simpsons
(1:15)
(Alf Clausen/Greg Daniels)
b) Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? (Reprise) - Homer & Marge Intro;
Apu, with Homer (0:39)
(Alf Clausen/Greg Daniels)

5. 'Round Springfield (Medley) (2:56)
From the episode 'Round Springfield (4/30/95)
a) Bleeding Gums Blues - Lisa & DJ Intro; Bleeding Gums Murphy,
with Lisa (1:01)
(Alf Clausen)
(Alto saxophone solo: Dan Higgins)
b) A Four-Headed king - Bleeding Gums Murphy, Cast & Lisa (0:23)
(Alf Clausen)
c) There She Sits, Brokenhearted - Lisa & Bleeding Gums Murphy
(0:17)
(Alf Clausen)
d) Jazzman - Lisa & Bleeding Gums Murphy (1:15)
(Carole King/David Palmer)
(Alto saxophone solo: Dan Higgins; Baritone saxophone solo:
Terry Harrington)

6. "Oh, Streetcar!" (The Musical) (4:02)
From the episode A Streetcar Named Marge (10/1/92)
a) White-Hot Grease Fires (Prologue) - Director (Jon Lovitz) &
Cast (0:20)
(Alf Clausen)
b) Long Before the Superdome - Chief Wiggum (0:23)
(Jeff Martin)
c) New Orleans - Cast (0:36)
(Jeff Martin)
d) I Thought My Life Would Be A Mardi Gras - Cast & Marge Intro;
Marge, with Apu (0:44)
(Jeff Martin)
e) I Am Just A Simple Paper Boy - Apu (0:41)
(Jeff Martin)
f) Stella - Ned Flanders (0:17)
(Jeff Martin)
g) She Flies (0:34)
(Alf Clausen)
h) The Kindness of Strangers - Marge & Cast (0:27)
(Jeff Martin)

7. Jingle Bells - Robert Goulet, with Bart, Smithers, Mr. Burns &
Nelson (0:43)
(James Pierpont/arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen)
From the episode $pringfield (Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying
And Love Legalized Gambling) (12/16/93)

8. $pringfield (Medley) (0:51)
From the episode $pringfield (Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying
And Love Legalized Gambling) (12/16/93)
a) The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Big Band Vegas" Version)
(0:46)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
b) Gracie Films Logo (0:05)
(Jeffrey Townsend)

9. "Itchy & Scratchy" Main Title Theme (0:22)
(Robert Israel/Sam Simon)
From the episode Itchy & Scratchy & Marge (12/20/90)

10. "Itchy & Scratchy" End Credits Theme (0:15)
(Robert Israel/Sam Simon/Al Jean/Mike Reiss)
From the episode The Front (4/15/93)

11. The Day the Violence Died (Medley) (1:49)
From the episode The Day The Violence Died (3/17/96)
a) Not Jazz Chor, but Sad Chor - Krusty The Clown (0:16)
(Alf Clausen)
b) The Amendment Song - Jack Sheldon, with Kid, Bart, Lisa &
Cast (1:32)
(Alf Clausen/John Swartzwelder)

12. Senor Burns - Tito Puente & His Latin Jazz Ensemble (1:16)
(Alf Clausen/Bill Oakley/Josh Weinstein)
From the episode Who Shot Mr. Burns (Part Two) (9/17/95)

13. The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Afro-Cuban" Version) - Tito
Puente & His Latin Jazz Ensemble (0:47)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
From the episode Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) (9/17/951

14. Your Wife Don't Understand You - Announcer & Cast Intro; Lurleen
(Beverly D'Angelo), with Homer (1:34)
(Jeff Martin)
From the episode Colonel Homer (3/26/92)

15. Kamp Krusty (Medley) (2:18)
From the episode Kamp Krusty (9/24/92)
a) South of the Border - Bart & Krusty Intro; Gene Merlino (2:13)
(Jimmy Kennedy/Michael Carr)
b) Gracie Films Logo (0:05)
(Jeffrey Townsend)

END CREDITS SUITE #1 (Tks 16-18):

16. The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Australian" Version) (0:52)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
From the episode Bart Vs. Australia (2/19/95)

17. The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Hill Street Blues" Version) (0:45)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
From the episode The Springfield Connection (5/7/95)

18. The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World"
Version) (0:47)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
From the episode Homer The Vigilante (1/6/94)

Side two: (28:42)

19. Treehouse of Horror V (Medley) (1:21)
From the episode Treehouse of Horror V (10/30/94)
a) Controlling the Transmission (Prologue) - Bart & Homer (0:41)
(Alf Clausen)
b) The Simpsons Halloween Special Main Title Theme (0:40)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)

20. Honey Roasted Peanuts - Homer & Marge (0:59)
From the episode Boy-Scoutz N The Hood (11/18/93)

21. Boy Scoutz N The Hood (Medley) (3:41)
From the episode Boy-Scoutz N The Hood (11/18/93)
a) Saved by the Bell - Apu, Milhouse & Bart (1:01)
(Alf Clausen)
b) Jackpot - Milhouse & Bart (0:19)
(Alf Clausen)
c) Springfield, Springfield (Parts 1 & 2) - Bart & Milhouse,
with Cast (1:32)
(Alf Clausen/Dan McGrath)
d) Remember This? - Bart & Lisa (0:15)
(Alf Clausen)
e) Another Edwardian Morning - Bart, Marge & Homer (0:34)
(Alf Clausen)

22. Two Dozen and One Greyhounds (Medley) (1:57)
From the episode Two Dozen And One Greyhounds (4/9/95)
a) The Pick of The Litter - Mr. Burns, with Lisa (0:22)
(Alf Clausen)
b) See My Vest - Smithers Intro; Mr. Burns, with Maid, Lisa &
Bart (1:35)
(Alf Clausen/Michael Scully)

23. "Eye on Springfield" Theme - Kent Brockman Intro; with Homer (0:45)
(Alf Clausen)
From the episode Flaming Moe's (11/21/91)

24. Flaming Moe's - Kipp Lennon, with Cast (0:59)
(Jeff Martin)
From the episode Flaming Moe's (11/21/91)

25. Homer's Barbershop Quartet (Medley) (1:36)
From the episode Homer's Barbershop Quartet (9/30/93)
a) One Last Call - Principal Skinner & Apu (0:21)
(Les Applegate/arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen)
b) Baby On Board - The Be Sharps, with Cast (1:15)
(Jeff Martin/Shelby Grimm/Harry Campbell/George Economou/
Danny Jordan)

26. TV Sucks! - Homer & Bart (0:32)
From the episode Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie (11/3/92)

27. A Fish Called Selma (Medley) (3:06)
From the episode A Fish Called Selma (3/24/96)
a) Troy Chic - Agent MacArthur Parker (Jeff Goldblum) & Troy
McClure (0:18)
(Alf Clausen)
b) Stop the Planet of the Apes (0:10)
(Alf Clausen)
c) Dr. Zaius - Cast & Troy McClure, with Bart & Homer (1:22)
(Alf Clausen/Jack Barth)
d) Chimpan A to Chimpan Z - Troy McClure & Cast (1:15)
(Alf Clausen/Jack Barth)

28. Send in the Clowns - Announcer Intro; Krusty The Clown & Sideshow
Mel (1:04)
(Stephen Sondheim)
From the episode Krusty Gets Kancelled (5/13/93)

29. The Monorail Song - Lyle Lanley & Cast (1:49)
(Jeff Martin)
From the episode Marge Vs. The Monorail (1/14/93)

30. In Search of an Out of Body Vibe - Grampa, with Mrs. Bouvier (0:22)
(Alf Clausen)
From the episode Lady Bouvier's Lover (5/12/94)

31. Cool - Homer & Grampa (0:40)
(Alf Clausen/Bill Oakley/Josh Weinstein)
From the episode Lady Bouvier's Lover (5/12/94)

32. Bagged me a Homer - Lurleen (Beverly D'Angelo), with Recording
Studio Guy, Homer & Marge (2:16)
(Beverly D'Angelo)
(Baritone saxophone solo: Terry Harrington; Harmonica solo: Tommy
Morgan)
From the episode Colonel Homer (3/26/92)

33. It Was a Very Good Beer - Homer (0:37)
(Ervin Drake)
From the episode Duffless (2/18/93]

34. Bart Sells His Soul (Medley) (2:04)
From the episode Bart Sells His Soul (10/8/95)
a) From God's Brain to Your Mouth - Bart (0:19)
(Alf Clausen)
b) In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida - Reverend Lovejoy & Cast, with Bart,
Homer & Milhouse (1:45)
(Doug Ingle)

35. Happy Birthday, Lisa - Lisa & Bart Intro; Leon Kompowski (Kipp
Lennon) & Bart, with Lisa (1:18)
(W.A. Mozart)
From the episode Stark Raving Dad (9/19/91)

END CREDITS SUITE #2 (Tks 18-21)

36. The Simpsons Halloween Special End Credits Theme ("The Adams
Family" Version) (0:47)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
From the episode Treehouse Of Horror IV (10/28/93)

37. Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One) (Medley) (0:53)
From the episode Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One) (5/21/95)
a) Who Dunnit? (0:06)
(Alf Clausen)
b) The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("JFK" Version) (0:47)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)

38. Lisa's Wedding (Medley) (0:51)
From the episode Lisa's Wedding (3/19/95)
a) The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Renaissance" Version) (0:46)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
b) Gracie Films Logo (0:05)
(Jeffrey Townsend)

39. The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Dragnet" Version) (1:05)
(Alf Clausen/Danny Elfman)
From the episode Marge On the Lam (11/4/93)