Disc: 2

Pretty Women

Epiphany

A Little Priest

God, That's Good!

Johanna

By the Sea

Not While I'm Around

The Judge's Return

The Ballad of Sweeney Todd

JUDGE: Mr. TODD?
TODD: At your service, sir. And what may I do for you, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? A soothing skin massage?
JUDGE (Sings):
You see, sir, a man infatuate with love,
Her ardent and eager slave.
So fetch the pomade and pumice stone
And lend me a more seductive tone,
A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne,
But first, sir, I think -- a shave.
TODD: The closest I ever gave.
JUDGE: You are in a merry mood today, Mr. TODD.
TODD:
'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire
From one man to the next.
JUDGE:
'Tis true, sir, love can still inspire
The blood to pound, the heart leap higher.
BOTH:
What more, what more can man require --
JUDGE:
Than love, sir?
TODD:
More than love, sir.
JUDGE:
What, sir?
TODD:
Women.
JUDGE:
Ah yes, women.
TODD:
Pretty women.
Now then, my friend.
Now to your purpose.
Patience, enjoy it.
Revenge can't be taken in haste.
JUDGE:
Make haste, and if we wed,
You'll be commended, sir.
TODD:
My lord . . .
And who, may it be said,
Is your intended, sir?
JUDGE:
My ward.
And pretty as a rosebud.
TODD: As pretty as her mother?
JUDGE: What? What was that?
TODD: Oh, nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed?
Pretty women . . .
Fascinating. ..
Sipping coffee,
Dancing.. .
Pretty women
Are a wonder.
Pretty women.
Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair,
Something in them
Cheers the air.
Pretty women . . .
JUDGE:
Silhouetted...
TODD:
Stay within you .. .
JUDGE:
Glancing...
TODD:
Stay forever .. .
JUDGE:
Breathing lightly . . .
TODD:
Pretty women ...
both:
Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair ...
JUDGE:
Then they leave ...
Even when they leave you
And vanish, they somehow
Can still remain
There with you,
There with you.
BOTH:
Ah,
Pretty women ...
TODD:
At their mirrors . ..
JUDGE:
In their gardens . . .
TODD:
Letter-writing . . .
JUDGE:
Flower-picking . . .
TODD:
Weather-watching. . .
BOTH:
How they make a man sing!
TODD:
Even when they leave,
They still
Are
There.
They're there.
Proof of heaven
As you're living --
Pretty women, sir!
JUDGE:
TODD:
Pretty women, here's to
Pretty women, all the
Pretty women ...
Pretty women, yes!
Pretty women, sir!
Pretty women!
Pretty women, sir!
ANTHONY:
She says she'll marry me Sunday,
Everything's set, we leave tonight -- !
JUDGE: You!
ANTHONY: Judge Turpin!
JUDGE: There is indeed a Higher Power to warn me thus in time. Johanna elope with you? Deceiving slut -- I'll lock her up in some obscure retreat where neither you nor any other vile, corrupting youth shall ever lay eyes on her again.
ANTHONY: But, sir, I beg of you --
JUDGE: And as for you, barber, it is all too clear what company you keep. Service them well and hold their custom -- for you'll have none of mine.
ANTHONY: Mr. TODD!
TODD: Out! Out, I say!

MRS. LOVETT: All this running and shouting. What is it now, dear?
TODD: I had him -- and then ...
MRS. LOVETT: The sailor busted in. I saw them both running down the street and I said to myself: "The fat's in the fire, for sure!"
TODD:
I had him!
His throat was bare
Beneath my hand -- !
MRS. LOVETT: There, there, dear. Don't fret.
TODD:
No, I had him!
His throat was there,
And he'll never come again!
MRS. LOVETT:
Easy now.
Hush, love, hush.
I keep telling you --
TODD:
When?
MRS. LOVETT:
What's your rush?
TODD:
Why did I wait?
You told me to wait!
Now he'll never come again!
There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And it's filled with people
Who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it --
But not for long!
They all deserve to die!
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett,
Tell you why:
Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett,
There are two kinds of men and only two.
There's the one staying put
In his proper place
And the one with his foot
In the other one's face --
Look at me, Mrs. Lovett,
Look at you!
No, we all deserve to die!
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett,
Tell you why:
Because the lives of the wicked should be --
Made brief.
For the rest of us, death
Will be a relief--
We all deserve to die!
And I'll never see Johanna,
No, I'll never hug my girl to me --
Finished!
All right! You, sir,
How about a shave?
Come and visit
Your good friend Sweeney -- !
You, sir, too, sir --
Welcome to the grave!
I will have vengeance,
I will have salvation!
Who, sir? You, sir?
No one's in the chair --
Come on, come on,
Sweeney's waiting!
I want you bleeders!
You, sir -- anybody!
Gentlemen, now don't be shy!
Not one man, no,
Nor ten men,
Nor a hundred
Can assuage me --
I will have you!
And I will get him back
Even as he gloats.
In the meantime I'll practice
On less honorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again,
But the work waits,
I'm alive at last
And I'm full of joy!
MRS. LOVETT: That's all very well, but all that matters now is him! What are we going to do about him?
TODD: Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to some secret place and bury him.
MRS. LOVETT: Well, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose there's any relatives going to come poking around looking for him.

MRS. LOVETT:
But.. .
You know me. Right ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinking . ..
Seems a downright shame . . .
TODD: Shame?
MRS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste .. .
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's-his-name
Has...
Had . ..
Has...
Nor it can't be traced.
Business needs a lift --
Debts to be erased --
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift...
If you get my drift.. .
No?
Seems an awful waste.
I mean,
With the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it--
TODD: Ah!
MRS. LOVETT:
Good, you got it.
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better, using only
Pussycats and toast.
And a pussy's good for maybe six or
Seven at the most.
And I'm sure they can't compare
As far as taste --
TODD:
MRS. LOVETT,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet
Appropriate, as always.
Mrs. Lovett
How I've lived without you
All these years I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable.
How choice!
How rare!
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a
Waste ...
It's an idea ...
Think about it...
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be coming for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!
TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
MRS. LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd,
What, Mr. Todd,
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air?
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, all around --
TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear,
And who are we
To deny it in here?
MRS. LOVETT:
Then who are we
To deny it in here?
TODD: These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for.
MRS. LOVETT: Here we are, hot from the oven.
TODD:
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's priest.
Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
MRS. LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good,
At least.
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
MRS. LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?
MRS. LOVETT:
No, you see the trouble with poet
Is, how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest.
TODD: Heavenly.
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but not as bland as curate, either.
MRS. LOVETT: And good for business -- always leaves you wanting more. Trouble is, we only get it in Sundays . . .
Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
MRS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow
It twice.
TODD:
Anything that's lean.
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal
Marine.
Anyway, it's clean.
Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been.
TODD:
Is that squire
On the fire?
MRS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir,
Look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer.
TODD:
Looks thicker.
More like vicar.
MRS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer -- it's green.
TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
MRS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors ...
TODD:
-- is those below serving those up above.
MRS. LOVETT:
Everybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors ...
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know --
BOTH:
-- that those above will serve those down below!
MRS. LOVETT: Now, let's see ... We've got tinker ...
TODD: Something pinker.
MRS. LOVETT: Tailor?
tow: Paler.
MRS. LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
MRS. LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
MRS. LOVETT: Locksmith?
Lovely bit of clerk.
TODD:
Maybe for a lark ...
MRS. LOVETT:
Then again, there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark.
Try the financier.
Peak of his career.
TODD:
That looks pretty rank.
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, he drank.
It's a bank
Cashier.
Last one really sold.
Wasn't quite so old.
TODD:
Have you any BEADLE?
MRS. LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told.
BEADLE isn't bad till you smell it
And notice how well it's
Been greased.
Stick to priest.
Now this may be a bit stringy, but then, of course, it's fiddle player.
TODD: This isn't Fiddle player. It's piccolo player.
MRS. LOVETT: How can you tell?
TODD: It's piping hot.
MRS. LOVETT: Then blow on it first.
TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet --
MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
-- is who gets eaten and who gets to eat.
MRS. LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell.
TODD:
But fortunately, it's also clear --
TODD: MRS. LOVETT:
That everybody But everybody
Goes down well with beer. Goes down well with beer.
MRS. LOVETT: Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
MRS. LOVETT: With or without his privates? "With" is extra.
TODD :
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top.
And I've just begun.
Here's the politician -- so oily
It's served with a doily --
Have one.
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run.
MRS. LOVETT:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier.
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy.
MRS. LOVETT:
Then actor --
That's compacter.
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone.
I'll come again when you
Have JUDGE on the menu . . .
MRS. LOVETT: Wait! True, we don't have JUDGE -- yet -- but would you settle for the next best thing?
TODD: What's that?
MRS. LOVETT: Executioner.
TODD:
Have charity toward the world, my pet.
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love --
TODD:
We'll take the customers what we can get
MRS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone --
Meaning anyone --
BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!

TOBIAS:
Ladies and gentlemen,
May I have your attention, perlease?
Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well
At that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell?
Yes they are, I can tell.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source,
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course.
Ladies and gentlemen,
You can't imagine the rapture in store --
Just inside of this door!
There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies,
Savory and sweet pies,
As you'll see.
You who eat pies,
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Conjure up the treat pies
Used to be!
MRS. LOVETT:
Nice to see you, dearie . ..
How have you been keeping? ...
Cor, me bones is weary!
Toby--!
One for the gentleman . . .
Hear the birdies cheeping --
Helps to keep it cheery . . .
Toby!
Throw the old woman out!
customers:
God, that's good!
MRS. LOVETT:
What's your pleasure, dearie? ...
No, we don't cut slices .. .
Cor, me eyes is bleary! . . .
Toby!
None for the gentleman! . . .
I could up me prices --
I'm a little leery ...
Business
Couldn't be better, though --
CUSTOMER:
God, that's good!
MRS. LOVETT:
Knock on wood.
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Excuse me ...
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Dear, see to the customers.
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk.
TODD:
But it's six o'clock!
MRS. LOVETT:
So it's six o'clock.
TODD:
It was due to arrive
At a quarter to five --
MRS. LOVETT:
TODD:
And it's six o'clock!
I've been waiting all day!
But it should have been here
By now!
And it's probably already
Down the block!
It'll be here, it'll be here!
Have a beaker of beer
And stop worrying, dear.
Now, now . . .
CUSTOMERS:
More hot pies!
MRS. LOVETT: Gawd.
Will you wait there, TODD:
Coolly, You'll come back
'Cos my customers truly When it comes?
Are getting unruly.
And what's your pleasure, dearie?
Oops! I beg your pardon!
Just me hands is smeary --
Toby!
Run for the gentleman!
Don't you love a garden?
Always makes me teary . ..
Must be one of them foreigners --
customers:
God, that's good that is delicious!
MRS. LOVETT:
What's my secret?
Frankly, dear -- forgive my candor --
Family secret,
All to do with herbs.
Things like being
Careful with your coriander,
That's what makes the gravy grander -- !
CUSTOMER:
More hot pies!
More hot!
More pies!
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Excuse me ...
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Dear, see to the customers.
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk.
TODD:
But it's here!
MRS. LOVETT:
It's where?
TODD:
Coming up the stair!
MRS. LOVETT:
I'll get rid of this lot
As they're still pretty hot
And then I'll be there!
TODD:
It's about to be opened
Or don't you care?
No, I'll be there!
I will be there!
But they'll never be sold
If I let 'em get cold --
But we have to prepare!
MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, and
Incidentally, dearie,
You know Mrs. Mooney.
Sales've been so dreary --
Toby--!
Poor thing is penniless.
What about that loony?
Lookin' sort of beery--
Oh well, got her comeuppance --
And that'll be thruppence -- and
MRS. LOVETT:
So she should.
God, that's good that is de have you
Licious ever tasted smell such
Oh my God what more that's pies good!
TODD and MRS. LOVETT:
Oooohhhh! Oooohhhh!
TODD:
Is that a chair fit for a king,
A wondrous neat
And most particular chair?
You tell me where
Is there a seat
Can half compare
With this particular thing!
I have a few
Minor adjustments
To make --
They'll take
A moment.
I'll call you . ..
MRS. LOVETT:
It's gorgeous!
It's gorgeous!
It's perfect!
It's gorgeous!
You make your few
Minor adjustments.
You take your time,
I'll go see to the customers.
TODD:
I have another friend . ..
TOBIAS:
Is that a pie fit for a king,
A wondrous sweet
And most delectable thing?
You see, ma'am, why
There is no meat
MRS. LOVETT:
It's gorgeous!
It's gorgeous!
Pie can compete It's perfect!
With this delectable It's gorgeous!
Pie.
customers:
Yum!
Yum!
Yum!
TOBIAS and MRS. LOVETT:
The crust all velvety and wavy,
That glaze, those crimps . . .
And then, the thick, succulent gravy.. .
One whiff, one glimpse . . .
customers:
Yum! Yum!
Yum! Yum!
Yum! Yum!
Yum! Yum!
TODD:
And now to test
This best of barber chairs .. .
MRS. LOVETT:
So rich,
So thick
It makes you sick . . .
TOBIAS:
So tender
That you surrender .. .
customers:
Yum!
Yum!
Yum! Yum!
TODD:
It's rime . ..
It's rime . ..
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Excuse me . ..
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Dear, see to the customers.
TODD:
Psst!
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, what, love?
TODD:
Quick, now!
MRS. LOVETT:
Me heart's aflutter -- !
TODD:
When I pound the floor,
It's a signal to show
That I'm ready to go,
When I pound the floor!
I just want to be sure.
When I'm certain that you're
In place --
MRS. LOVETT:
When you pound the floor,
Yes, you told me, I know,
You'll be ready to go
When you pound the floor ?
Will you trust me?
Will you trust me?
I'll be waiting below
For the whistle to blow . ..
TODD:
I'll pound three times.
Three times.
And then you --
Three times --
If you --
Exactly.
customers:
More hot pies!
MRS. LOVETT:
Gawd!
CUSTOMERS:
More hot!
MRS. LOVETT:
Right!
CUSTOMERS:
More pies!
TODD:
Psst!
CUSTOMERS:
More!
MRS. LOVETT:
Wait!
CUSTOMER:
More hot pies!
More hot! More pies!
More! Hot! Pies!
MRS. LOVETT and TOBIAS:
Eat them slow and
Feel the crust, how thin I (she) rolled it!
Eat them slow, 'cos
Every one's a prize!
Eat them slow, 'cos
That's the lot and now we've sold it!
Come again tomorrow -- !
MRS. LOVETT:
Hold it --
CUSTOMERS:
More hot pies!
MRS. LOVETT:
Bless my eyes -- !
Fresh supplies!
MRS. LOVETT:
How about it, dearie?
Be here in a twinkling!
Just confirms my theory --
Toby--!
God watches over us.
Didn't have an inkling . . .
Positively eerie . . .
TOBIAS:
Is that a pie
Fit for a king,
A wondrous sweet
And most delectable
Thing?
You see, ma'am, why
There is no meat pie
CUSTOMER:
Yum!
Yum!
Yum!
Yum! Yum!
Yum!
Yum!
MRS. LOVETT:
Toby!
Throw the old woman out!
CUSTOMERS:
God, that's good that is de have you
Licious ever tasted smell such
Oh my God what perfect more that's
Pies such flavor
God, that's good!!!

ANTHONY (Sings):
I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair,
JOHANNA...
TODD:
And are you beautiful and pale,
With yellow hair, like her?
I'd want you beautiful and pale,
The way I've dreamed you were,
Johanna...
ANTHONY:
Johanna...
TODD:
And if you're beautiful, what then,
With yellow hair, like wheat?
I think we shall not meet again --
My little dove, my sweet
Johanna. ..
ANTHONY:
I'll steal you,
Johanna. ..
TODD:
Goodbye, Johanna.
You're gone, and yet you're mine.
I'm fine, Johanna,
I'm fine!
ANTHONY:
JOHANNA...
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Smoke! Smoke!
Sign of the devil! Sign of the devil!
City on fire!
Witch! Witch!
Smell it, sir! An evil smell!
Every night at the vespers bell --
Smoke that comes from the mouth of hell --
City on fire!
City on fire ...
Mischief! Mischief!
Mischief...
TODD:
And if I never hear your voice,
My turtledove, my dear,
I still have reason to rejoice:
The way ahead is clear,
Johanna...
JOHANNA's voice:
I'll marry ANTHONY Sunday . . .
ANTHONY Sunday ...
ANTHONY:
I feel you ...
TODD:
And in that darkness when I'm blind
With what I can't forget --
ANTHONY:
Johanna...
TODD:
It's always morning in my mind,
My little lamb, my pet,
JOHANNA...
JOHANNA'S VOICE:
I knew you'd come for me one day . . .
Come for me ... one day ...
TODD: ANTHONY:
You stay, Johanna -- Johanna ...
TODD:
The way I've dreamed you are.
Oh look, Johanna --
A star!
ANTHONY:
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair . . .
TODD:
A shooting star!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
There! There!
Somebody, somebody look up there!
Didn't I tell you? Smell that air!
City on fire!
Quick, sir! Run and tell!
Warn 'em all of the witch's spell!
There it is, there it is, the unholy smell!
Tell it to the BEADLE and the police as well!
Tell 'em! Tell 'em!
Help!!! Fiend!!!
City on fire!!!
City on fire . . .
Mischief. .. Mischief.. . Mischief...
Fiend . . .
Alms .. . alms ...
TODD:
And though I'll think of you, I guess,
Until the day I die,
I think I miss you less and less
As every day goes by,
Johanna...
ANTHONY:
Johanna...
JOHANNA'S VOICE:
With you beside me on Sunday,
Married on Sunday .. .
TODD:
And you'd be beautiful and pale,
And look too much like her.
If only angels could prevail,
We'd be the way we were,
Johanna...
ANTHONY:
I feel you . . .
Johanna...
JOHANNA'S VOICE:
Married on Sunday . . .
Married on Sunday ...
TODD:
Wake up, Johanna!
Another bright red day!
We learn, Johanna,
To say
Goodbye..
ANTHONY:
I'll steal you!
JOHANNA'S VOICE:
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing

MRS. LOVETT:
Ooh, Mr. TODD
I'm so happy
I could
Eat you up, I really could!
You know what I'd like to
Do, Mr. TODD?
What I dream
If the business stays as good,
Where I'd really like to go
In a year or so ...
Don't you want to know?
TODD: Of course.
MRS. LOVETT:
Do you really want to know?
TODD: Yes, yes, I do, I do.
MRS. LOVETT: I've always had a dream -- ever since I was a skinny little slip of a thing and my rich Aunt Nettie used to take me to the seaside August Bank Holiday . . . the pier . . . making little castles in the sand. I can still feel me toes wiggling around in the briny.
By the sea, Mr. TODD,
That's the life I covet;
By the sea, Mr. TODD,
Ooh, I know you'd love it!
You and me, Mr. T,
We could be alone
In a house wot we'd almost own
Down by the sea ...
TODD:
Anything you say . . .
MRS. LOVETT:
Wouldn't that be smashing?
With the sea at our gate,
We'll have kippered herring
Wot have swum to us straight
From the Straits of Bering.
Every night in the kip
When we're through our kippers,
I'll be there slippin' off your slippers
By the sea .. .
With the fishies splashing,
By the sea . ..
Wouldn't that be smashing?
Down by the sea --
TODD:
Anything you say,
Anything you say.
MRS. LOVETT:
I can see us waking,
The breakers breaking,
The seagulls squawking:
Hoo! Hoo!
I do me baking,
Then I go walking
With you-hoo . . .
You-hoo . . .
I'll warm me bones
On the esplanade,
Have tea and scones
With me gay young blade,
Then I'll knit a sweater
While you write a letter,
Unless we got better
To do-hoo . . .
TODD: Anything you say . ..
MRS. LOVETT:
Think how snug it'll be
Underneath our flannel
When it's just you and me
And the English Channel.
In our cozy retreat,
Kept all neat and tidy,
We'll have chums over every Friday
By the sea . . .
TODD:
Anything you say . . .
MRS. LOVETT:
Don't you love the weather
By the sea?
We'll grow old together
By the seaside,
Hoo! Hoo!
By the beautiful sea!
Oh, I can see us now -- in our bathing dresses -- you in a nice rich navy -- and me, stripes perhaps.
It'll be so quiet
That who'll come by it
Except a seagull?
Hoo! Hoo!
We shouldn't try it,
Though, till it's legal
For two-hoo!
But a seaside wedding
Could be devised,
Me rumpled bedding
Legitimized.
Me eyelids'll flutter,
I'll turn into butter,
The moment I mutter
"Ido-hoo!"
By the sea, in our nest,
We could share our kippers
With the odd paying guest
From the weekend trippers,
Have a nice sunny suite
For the guest to rest in --
Now and then, you could do the guest in --
By the sea.
Married nice and proper,
By the sea --
Bring along your chopper
To the seaside,
Hoo! Hoo!
By the beautiful sea!
Come on, dear. Give us a kiss. Ooh, that was lovely.

TOBIAS : You know, ma'am, -- there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. ,If there was a monster or an ogre or anything bad like that wot was after you, I'd rip it apart with my bare fists, I would.
MRS. LOVETT: What a sweet child it is.
TOBIAS: Or even if it was just a man
MRS. LOVETT: A man, dear?
TOBIAS: A man wot was bad and wot might be luring you all unbeknownst into his evil deeds, like.
MRS. LOVETT: What is this? What are you talking about?
TOBIAS:
Nothing's gonna harm you,
Not while I'm around.
MRS. LOVETT: Of course not, dear, and why should it?
TOBIAS:
Nothing's gonna harm you,
No, sir,
Not while I'm around.
MRS. LOVETT: What do you mean, "a man"?
TOBIAS:
Demons are prowling
Everywhere
Nowadays.
MRS. LOVETT: And so they are, dear.
TOBIAS:
I'll send 'em howling,
I don't care --
I got ways.
MRS. LOVETT: Of course you do ... What a sweet, affectionate child it is.
TOBIAS:
No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare.
MRS. LOVETT: I know what Toby deserves ...
TOBIAS:
Others can desert you --
Not to worry --
Whistle, I'll be there.
MRS. LOVETT: Here, have a nice bon-bon.
TOBIAS:
Demons'll charm you
With a smile
For a while,
But in dme
Nothing can harm you,
Not while I'm around.
MRS. LOVETT: What is this foolishness? What're you talking about?
TOBIAS: Little things wot I've been thinking and wondering about . . . It's him, you see -- Mr. TODD. Oh, I know you fancy him, but men ain't like women, they ain't wot you can .trust, as I've lived and learned.
Not to worry, not to worry,
I may not be smart but I ain't dumb.
I can do it,
Put me to it,
Show me something I can overcome.
Not to worry, mum.
Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true.
I don't need to, I won't never
Hide a thing from you,
Like some.
MRS. LOVETT: Now Toby dear, haven't we had enough foolish chatter? Let's just sit nice and quiet for a bit. Here.
TOBIAS: That! That's Signor PIRELLI's purse! (MRS. LOVETT, realizing her slip, quickly hides it)
MRS. LOVETT: What's that? What was that, dear?
TOBIAS: That proves it! What I've been thinking. That's his purse.
MRS. LOVETT: Silly boy! It's just a silly little something Mr. T. gave me for my birthday.
TOBIAS: Mr. TODD gave it to you! And how did he get it? How did he get it?
MRS. LOVETT: Bought it, dear. In the pawnshop, dear. Come on now.
Nothing's gonna harm you,
Not while I'm around!
Nothing's gonna harm you, Toby,
Not while I'm around.
TOBIAS: You don't understand.
Two quid was in it,
Two or three --
The guvnor giving up his purse -- with two quid?
Not for a minute!
Don't you see?
It was in Mr. TODD's parlor that the guvnor disappeared.
MRS. LOVETT: Boys and their fancies! What will we think of next! Here, dear. Sit here by your Aunt Nellie like a good boy and look at your lovely muffler. How warm it's going to keep you when the days draw in. And it's so becoming on you.
TOBIAS:
Demons'11 charm you
With a smile
For a while,
But in time
Nothing's gonna harm you,
Not while I'm around!

JUDGE: Where is she? Where is the girl?
TODD: Below, your Honor. With my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett. Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her. Thank heavens too, she has seen the error of her ways.
JUDGE: She has?
TODD: Oh yes, sir. She speaks only of you, longing for forgiveness.
JUDGE: And she shall have it.
JUDGE:
Pretty women!
TODD:
Pretty women, yes ...
JUDGE: Quickly, sir, a splash of bay rum!
TODD: Sit, sir, sit.
JUDGE:
JOHANNA,JOHANNA.. .
TODD:
Pretty women . . .
JUDGE: Hurry, man!
TODD:
Pretty women
Are a wonder . . .
JUDGE: You're in a merry mood again today, barber.
TODD:
Pretty women!
JUDGE:
What we do for
TODD:
Pretty women! Pretty women!
Blowing out their candles Blowing out their candles
Or combing out their hair -- Or combing out their hair,
Then they leave --
Even when they leave you Even when they leave,
And vanish, they somehow They still
Can still remain Are there,
There with you there ... They're there . ..
JUDGE: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit!
TODD: With fellow tastes -- in women, at least.
JUDGE: What? What's that?
TODD: The years no doubt have changed me, sir. But then, I suppose, the face of a barber -- the face of a prisoner in the dock -- is not particularly memorable.
JUDGE: Benjamin Barker!
TODD:
Rest now, my friend,
Rest now forever.
Sleep now the untroubled
Sleep of the angels . ..
The boy.
My razor!
You! What are you doing here? Speak!
JOHANNA: Oh, dear. Er -- excuse me, sir. I saw the barber's sign. So thinking to ask for a shave, I --
TODD: When? When did you come in?
JOHANNA: Oh, sir, I beg of you. Whatever I have seen, no man shall ever know. I swear it. Oh, sir, please, sir ...
TODD: A shave, eh? At your service.
JOHANNA: But, sir...
TODD: Whatever you may have seen, your cheeks are still as much in need of the razor as before. Sit, sir. Sit.

COMPANY:
Lift your razor high, Sweeney!
Hear it singing, "Yes!"
Sink it in the rosy skin
Of righteousness!
MRS. LOVETT: Die! Die! God in heaven -- die! You! Can it be? How all the demons of Hell come to torment me! Quick! To the oven.
TODD: Why did you scream? Does the JUDGE still live?
MRS. LOVETT: He was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but now -- he's finished.
TODD: Leave them to me. Open the doors.
MRS. LOVETT: No! Don't touch her!
TODD: What is the matter with you? It's only some meddling old beggar -- Oh no, Oh God . . . "Don't I know you?" she said . . . You knew she lived. From the first moment that I walked into your shop you knew my Lucy lived!
MRS. LOVETT: I was only thinking of you!
TODD:
Lucy. . .
MRS. LOVETT: Your Lucy! A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley ash-cans! Would you have wanted to know that was all that was left of her?
TODD: You lied to me.
MRS. LOVETT:
No, no, not lied at all.
No, I never lied.
TODD:
Lucy...
MRS. LOVETT:
Said she took the poison -- she did --
Never said that she died --
Poor thing,
She lived --
TODD:
I've come home again . . .
MRS. LOVETT:
But it left her weak in the head,
All she did for months was just lie there in bed --
TODD:
Lucy. . .
MRS. LOVETT:
Should've been in hospital,
Wound up in Bedlam instead,
Poor thing!
TODD:
Oh, my God . . .
MRS. LOVETT:
Better you should think she was dead.
Yes, I lied 'cos I love you!
TODD:
Lucy...
MRS. LOVETT:
I'd be twice the wife she was!
I love you!
TODD:
What have I done?...
MRS. LOVETT:
Could that thing have cared for you
Like me?
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett,
You're a bloody wonder,
Eminently practical and yet
Appropriate as always.
As you've said repeatedly,
There's little point in dwelling on the past.
TODD:
MRS. LOVETT:
Do you mean it?
Everything I did I swear
I thought
Was only for the best,
Believe me!
Can we still be
Married?
No, come here, my love ..
Not a thing to fear,
My love . . .
What's dead
Is dead.
TODD:
The history of the world, my pet --
MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
Leave it to me .. .
TODD:
Is learn forgiveness and try to forget.
MRS. LOVETT:
By the sea, Mr. Todd,
We'll be comfy-cozy,
By the sea, Mr. Todd,
Where there's no one nosy ...
TODD:
And life is for the alive, my dear,
So let's keep living it -- !
BOTH:
Just keep living it,
Really living it -- !
TODD:
There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful.
A foolish barber and his wife,
She was his reason and his life.
And she was beautiful.
And she was virtuous.
And he was --
Naive.
TOBIAS:
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker man.
Bake me a cake --
No,no,
Bake me a pie --
To delight my eye,
And I will sigh
If the crust be high ...
Mr. TODD.
It's the old woman. Ya harmed her too, have ya? Ya shouldn't, ya know. Ya shouldn't harm nobody. Razor! Razor! Cut, cut, cut cadougan, watch me grind my corn. Pat him and prick him and mark him with B, and put him in the oven for baby and me!

TOBIAS:
Attend the tale of Sweeney TODD.
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
Who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few have trod,
Did Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
He kept a shop in London town,
Of fancy clients and good renown.
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their maker impeccably shaved
By Sweeney,
By Sweeney TODD,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Swing your razor wide, Sweeney!
Hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those
Who moralize!
COMPANY:
His needs are few, his room is bare.
He hardly uses his fancy chair.
The more he bleeds, the more he lives.
He never forgets and he never forgives.
Perhaps today you gave a nod
To Sweeney TODD,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
WOMEN:
Sweeney wishes the world away,
Sweeney's weeping for yesterday,
Hugging the blade, waiting the years,
Hearing the music that nobody hears.
Sweeney waits in the parlor hall,
Sweeney leans on the office wall.
MEN:
No one can help, nothing can hide you --
Isn't that Sweeney there beside you?
company:
Sweeney wishes the world away,
Sweeney's weeping for yesterday,
Is Sweeney!
There he is, it's Sweeney!
Sweeney! Sweeney!
There! There! There! There!
There! There! There!
There!
TODD and company:
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd!
He served a dark and a hungry god!
TODD:
To seek revenge may lead to hell,
MRS. LOVETT:
But everyone does it, and seldom as well
TODD and MRS. LOVETT:
As Sweeney,
COMPANY:
As Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet...
. .. Street!