The Ballad of Sweeney Todd

No Place Like London

The Worst Pies in London

Poor Thing

My Friends

The Ballad of Sweeney Todd

Greenfinch and Linnet Bird

Ah, Miss

Johanna

Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

The Contest

The Ballad of Sweeney Todd

Johanna

Wait

Kiss Me

Ladies in Their Sensitivities

Kiss Me, Part II

MAN:
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
Who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few have trod,
Did Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

ANOTHER MAN:
He kept a shop in London town,
Of fancy clients and good renown.
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their maker impeccably shaved
By Sweeney,
By Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

COMPANY:
Swing your razor wide, Sweeney!
Hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those
Who moralize!

SOLOISTS:
His needs were few, his room was bare:
A lavabo and a fancy chair,
A mug of suds and a leather strop,
An apron, a towel, a pail and a mop.
For neatness he deserves a nod,
Does Sweeney Todd,

COMPANY:
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

WOMEN:
Inconspicuous Sweeney was,
Quick and quiet and clean 'e was.
Back of his smile, under his word,
Sweeney heard music that nobody heard.
Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned,
Like a perfect machine 'e planned.
Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,
Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle.

Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle,
Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle.
Inconspicuous Sweeney was,
Quick and quiet and clean 'e was,
Like a perfect machine 'e was,
Was Sweeney!
Sweeney!
Sweeney!
Sweeeeeneeeeey!

TODD AND COMPANY:
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
He served a dark and a vengeful god.

TODD:
What happened then? Well, that's the play,
And he wouldn't want us to give it away,
Not Sweeney,

TODD AND COMPANY:
Not Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. ..

ANTHONY:
I have sailed the world, beheld its wonders
From the Dardanelles
To the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again.
I could hear the city bells
Ring whatever I would do.
No, there's no pl-

TODD:
No, there's no place like London.

ANTHONY: Mr. Todd, sir?

TODD:
You are young.
Life has been kind to you.
You will learn

It is here we go our several ways. Farewell, Anthony, I will not soon forget the good ship Bountiful nor the young man who saved nay life.

ANTHONY:
There's no cause to thank me for that, sir. It would have been a poor Christian indeed who'd have spotted you pitching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.

TODD:
There's many a Christian would have done just that and not lost a wink's sleep for it, either.

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms! . . . Alms! ...
For a miserable woman
On a miserable chilly morning . . .

Thank yer, sir, thank yer.

'Ow would you like a little squiff, dear,
A little jig jig,
A little bounce around the bush?
Wouldn't you like to push me crumpet?
It looks to me, dear,
Like you got plenty there to push.

Alms! ... Alms! .. .
For a pitiful woman
Wot's got wanderin' wits ...
Hey, don't I know you, mister?

TODD:
Must you glare at me, woman? Off with you, off, I say!

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Then 'ow would you like to fish me squiff, mister?
We'll go jig jig,
A little -

TODD:
Off, I said. To the devil with you!

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms! . .. Alms! ...
For a desperate woman ...

ANTHONY:
Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her. She was only a half-crazed beggar woman. London's full of them.

TODD:
I beg your indulgence, boy. My mind is far from easy, for in these once-familiar streets I feel the chill of ghostly shadows everywhere. Forgive me.

ANTHONY:
There's nothing to forgive.

TODD:
Farewell, Anthony.

ANTHONY:
Mr. Todd, before we part -

TODD:
What is it?

ANTHONY:
I have honored my promise never to question you. Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair. And yet, during those many weeks of the voyage home, I have come to think of you as a friend and, if trouble lies ahead for you in London ... if you need help - or money ...

TODD:
No!

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth
What a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London.

At the top of the hole
Sit the privileged few,
Making mock of the vermin
In the lower zoo,
Turning beauty into filth and greed.

I too
Have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
For the cruelty of men
Is as wondrous as Peru,
But there's no place like London!

There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful.
A foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason and his life,
And she was beautiful.
And she was virtuous.
And he was -
Naive.
There was another man who saw
That she was beautiful,
A pious vulture of the law
Who with a gesture of his claw
Removed the barber from his plate.
Then there was nothing but to wait
And she would fall,
So soft,
So young,
So lost,
And oh, so beautiful!

ANTHONY:
And the lady, sir - did she - succumb?

TODD:
Oh, that was many years ago ...
I doubt if anyone would know.

Now, leave me, Anthony, I beg of you. There's somewhere I must go, something I must find out. Now. And alone.

ANTHONY:
But surely we will meet again before I'm off to Plymouth!

TODD:
If you want, you may well find me. Around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder.
ANTHONY: Well, until then, Mr. Todd.

TODD:
There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And it's filled with people
Who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it...

MRS. LOVETT: A customer!

Wait! What's yer rush? What's yer hurry?
You gave me such a ...
Fright. I thought you was a ghost.
Half a minute, can'tcher?
Sit! Sit ye down!
Sit!
All I meant is that I
Haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Did you come here for a pie, sir?

Do forgive me if me head's a little vague ...
Ugh!
What is that?
But you'd think we had the plague ...
From the way that people ...
Keep avoiding ...
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Ick!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale ...
Tsk!

Mind you, I can't hardly blame them ...
(Pouring a tankard of ale)
These are probably the worst pies in London,
I know why nobody cares to take them ...
I should know,
I make them.
But good? No,
The worst pies in London ...
Even that's polite.
The worst pies in London ...
If you doubt it, take a bite.

Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it.
It's nothing but crusting ...
Here, drink this, you'll need it ...
The worst pies in London ...

And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it.
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor
Animals
Wot are dying in the street.
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop,
Does a business, but I notice something weird ...
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared.

Have to hand it to her ...
Wot I calls
Enterprise,
Popping pussies into pies.
Wouldn't do in my shop ...
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick.
And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick.
No denying times is hard, sir ...
Even harder than
The worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more ...

Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty,
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like ...
Well, pity
A woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London!

Times is hard. Times is hard.

Spit it out, dear. Go on. On the floor. There's worse things than that down there. That's my boy.

TODD:
Isn't that a room up there over the shop? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? That should bring in something.
MRS. LOVETT:
Up there? Oh, no one will go near it. People think it's haunted. You see ... years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.

There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful,
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...

Barker, his name was ... Benjamin Barker.
TODD:
Transported? What was his crime?
MRS. LOVETT:
Foolishness.

He had this wife, you see,
Pretty little thing.
Silly little nit
Had her chance for the moon on a string ...
Poor thing. Poor thing.

There were these two, you see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge,
T'other one his beadle.
Every day they'd nudge
And they'd wheedle.
But she wouldn't budge
From her needle.
Too bad. Pure thing.

So they merely shipped the poor bugger off south, they did,
Leaving her with nothing but grief and a year-old kid.
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool.
Ah, but there was worse yet to come ...
Poor thing.

MRS. LOVETT
Johanna, that was the baby's name . . . Pretty little Johanna. . .
TODD:
Go on.
MRS. LOVETT:
My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, beadle calls on her, all polite,
Poor thing, poor thing.
The judge, he tells her, is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight!
Poor thing, poor thing.

Of course, when she goes there,
Poor thing, poor thing.
They're havin' this ball all in masks.

There's no one she knows there,
Poor dear, poor thing.
She wanders tormented, and drinks,
Poor thing.
The judge has repented, she thinks,
Poor thing.
"Oh, where is Judge Turpin?" she asks.

He was there, all right ...
Only not so contrite!
She wasn't no match for such craft, you see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, you see,
So all of 'em stood there and laughed, you see.
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

TODD:
Would no one have mercy on her?

MRS. LOVETT:
So it is you ... Benjamin Barker.
TODD:
Not Barker! Not Barker! Todd now! Sweeney Todd! Where is she?
MRS. LOVETT:
So changed! Good God, what did they do to you down there in bloody Australia or wherever?
TODD:
Where is my wife? Where's Lucy?

MRS. LOVETT:
She poisoned herself. Arsenic from the apothecary on the corner. I tried to stop her but she wouldn't listen to me.
TODD:
And my daughter?

MRS. LOVETT:
Johanna? He's got her.

TODD:
He? Judge Turpin?

MRS. LOVETT:
Even he had a conscience tucked away, I suppose. Adopted her like his own. You could say it was good luck for her .. . almost.
TODD:
Fifteen years sweating in a living hell on a trumped up charge. Fifteen years dreaming that, perhaps, I might come home to a loving wife and child.
Let them quake in their boots ... Judge Turpin and the beadle ... for their hour has come.

MRS. LOVETT:
You're going to ... get 'em? You? A bleeding little nobody of a runaway convict? Don't make me laugh. You'll never get His 'igh and Mightiness! Nor the BEADLE neither. Not in a million years.
You got any money?
Listen to me! You got any money?

TODD:
No money.

MRS. LOVETT:
Then how you going to live even?

TODD:
I'll live. If I have to sweat in the sewers or in the plague hospital, I'll live ... and I'll have them.

MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, you poor thing! You poor thing!
Wait!
See! It don't have to be the sewers or the plague hospital. When they come for the little girl, I hid 'em. I thought, who knows? Maybe the poor silly blighter'll be back again someday and need 'em. Cracked in the head, wasn't I? Times as bad as they are, I could have got five, maybe ten quid for 'em, any day. See? You can be a barber again.

MRS. LOVETT:
My, them handles is chased silver, ain't they?

TODD:
Silver, yes.
These are my friends.
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light.
My friend, my faithful friend.
Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know ...
You've been locked out of sight
All these years ...
Like me, my friend.
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting.
Home,
And we're together,
And we'll do wonders,
Won't we?

TODD:
You there, my friend.
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh
You grow warm
In my hand,
My friend,
My clever friend.
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies. ..

MRS. LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd ...
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand.
You've come home.
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.
Never you fear, Mr. Todd,
You can move in here,
Mr. Todd.
Splendors you never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours.
I'm your friend.
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T.

TODD: My right arm is complete again!

COMPANY:
Lift your razor high, Sweeney!
Hear it singing, "Yes!"
Sink it in the rosy skin
Of righteousness!
His voice was soft, his manner mild.
He seldom laughed but he often smiled,
He'd seen how civilized men behave.
He never forgot and he never forgave,
Not Sweeney,
Not Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street...

JOHANNA:
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?
Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?

My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.

ANTHONY:
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at

ANTHONY:
Me!
Look at
Me!

Look at me...

JOHANNA:
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing ...

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms! ... Alms! ...
For a miserable woman ...
Beg your pardon, it's you, sir ...
Thank yer . . . Thank yer kindly . . .

ANTHONY:
One moment, mother. Perhaps you know whose house this is?
BEGGAR WOMAN:
That! That's the great Judge Turpin's house, that is.
ANTHONY:
And the young lady who resides there?
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Ah, her! That's Johanna, his pretty little ward. But don't you go trespassing there, young man. Not if you value your hide. Tamper there and it's a good whipping for you -- or any other youth with mischief on his mind.
Hey! Hoy! Sailor boy!
Want it snugly harbored?
Open me gate, but dock it straight,
I see it lists to starboard.

ANTHONY:
I feel you,
Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna!
I'll steal you,
Johanna,
I'll steal you . ..

I'll steal you,
Johanna,
I'll steal you!
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair.
I feel you,
Johanna,
And one day
I'll steal you.
Till I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair ...

TOBIAS
Ladies and gentlemen!
May I have your attention, perlease?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken at ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare.
Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose from the dead!
On the top of my head.
Scarcely a month ago, gentlemen,
I was struck with a 'orrible
Dermatologic disease.
Though the finest physicians in London were called,
I awakened one morning amazed and appalled
To discover with dread that my head was as bald
As a novice's knees.
I was dying of shame
Till a gentleman came,
An illustrious barber, Pirelli by name.
He give me a liquid as precious as gold,
I rubbed it in daily like wot I was told,
And behold!
Only thirty days old!
'Twas Pirelli's
Miracle Elixir,
That's wot did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true.
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!

How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed.

1ST MAN:
Penny buys a bottle, I don't know . . .

2ND MAN:
You don't need

1ST MAN:
Ah, let's go!

TOBIAS:
Go ahead and tug, sir.

3RD MAN:
Penny for a bottle, is it?

TOBIAS:
Go ahead, sir, harder . ..

TOBIAS:
Does Pirelli's
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir,
'Tis unique.
Rub a minute.
Stimulatin' in it?
Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!
Gently dab it.
Gets to be a habit.
Soon there'll be enough, sir,
Somebody can grab it.
See that chap with
Hair like Shelley's?
You can tell 'e's
Used Pirelli's!

1ST MAN:
Let me have a bottle.

2ND MAN:
Make that two.

TOBIAS:
Buy PIRELLI's Miracle Elixir:
Anything wot's slick, sir,
Soon sprouts curls.
Try PIRELLI's!
When they see how thick, sir,
You can have your pick, sir,
Of the girls!
See PIRELLI's
Miracle Elixir
Grow a little wick, sir,
Then some fuzz.
The PIRELLI's
Soon'll make it thick, sir,
Like a good elixir
Always does!
Trust PIRELLI's!
If your hair is sick, sir,
Fix it in the nick, sir,
Don't look grim.
Just PIRELLI's
Miracle Elixir,
That'll do the trick, sir --
1ST MAN:
What about the money?
TOBIAS:
If you've got a kick, sir --
CROWD (Individuals, building to a shout):
What about the money?
Where is this PIRELLI?
Go and get PIRELLI!
TOBIAS:
Tell it to the mixer
Of the Miracle Elixir --
If you've got a kick, sir -- !
TODD: Signor Pirelli. I am Mr. Sweeney Todd and I have serviced no kings, yet I wager I can shave a cheek and pull a tooth with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank! You see these razors? I lay them against five pounds you are no match for me.
PIRELLI: You hear zis foolish man? Watch and see how he will regret his folly.
TODD: Will beadle Bamford be the JUDGE?
BEADLE: Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
PIRELLI: Ready!
TODD: Ready!

PIRELLI:
To shave-a da face,
To pull-a da toot',
Require da grace
And not-a da brute,
For if-a you slip,
You nick da skin,
You clip-a da chin,
You rip-a da lip a bit
And dat's-a da trut'!
To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart.
It take-a da art
I show you a chart
I study-a starting in my yout'!
To cut-a da hair,
To trim-a da beard,
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle,
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God!
It take-a da skill,
It take-a da brains,
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains,
It take-a da pace,
It take-a da grace
BEADLE:
The winner is TODD.
Pirelli: Sir, I bow to a skill far defter than my own.
BEADLE: Mr. TODD . . . Strange, sir, but it seems your face is known to me.
MRS. LOVETT: Him? That's a laugh him being my uncle's cousin and arrived from Birmingham yesterday.
TODD: And yet already, sir, I have heard beadle Bamford spoken of with great respect.
BEADLE: Well, sir, I try my best for my neighbors. In Fleet Street? Over your pie-shop, ma'am?
MRS. LOVETT: That's it, sir.
BEADLE: Then, Mr. TODD, you will surely see me there before the week is out.
TODD: You will be welcome, beadle Bamford, and I guarantee to give you, without a penny's charge, the closest shave you will ever know.

MEMBERS OF THE COMPANY:
Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned.
Like a perfect machine 'e planned,
Barbing the hook, baiting the trap,
Setting it out for the BEADLE to snap.
Slyly courted 'im, Sweeney did,
Set a sort of a scene, 'e did.
Laying the trail, showing the traces,
Letting it lead to higher places ...
Sweeney.. .

JUDGE:
Mea culpa, mea culpa,
Mea maxima culpa,
Mea maxima maxima culpa!
God deliver me! Release me!
Forgive me! Restrain me! Pervade me!
Johanna, Johanna,
So suddenly a woman,
The light behind your window --
It penetrates your gown ...
Johanna, Johanna,
The sun -- I see the sun through your --
No!
God!
Deliver me!
Deliver me!
Down!
Down.
Down ...
Johanna, Johanna,
I watch you from the shadows.
You sigh before your window
And gaze upon the town ...
Your lips part, Johanna,
So young and soft and beautiful --
God!
Deliver me!
Filth
Leave me!
Johanna, Johanna,
I treasured you in innocence
And loved you like a daughter.
You mock me, JOHANNA,
You tempt me with your innocence,
You tempt me with those quivering --
No!
God!
Deliver me!
It will
Stop
Now! It will
Stop
Right
Now.
Right
Now.
Right
Now ...
Johanna, Johanna,
I cannot keep you longer.
The world is at your window,
You want to fly away.
You stir me, Johanna,
So suddenly a woman,
I cannot watch you one more day!
God!
Deliver me!
God!
Deliver me!
God!
Deliver --
God!!
Johanna, Johanna,
I'll keep you here forever,
I'll wed you on the morrow.
Johanna, Johanna,
The world will never touch you,
I'll wed you on the morrow!
As years pass, Johanna,
You'll tend me in my solitude,
No longer as a daughter,
As a woman.
Johanna, Johanna,
I'll hold you here forever then,
You'll keep away from windows and
You'll
Deliver me,
Johanna,
From this
Hot
Red
Devil
With your
Soft
White
Cool
Virgin
Palms. ..

MRS. LOVETT: Kinda bare, isn't it? I never did like a bare room. Oh, well, we'll find some nice little knickknacks.
TODD: Why doesn't the beadle come? "Before the week is out," that's what he said.
MRS. LOVETT: And who says the week's out yet? It's only Tuesday.
Easy now.
Hush, love, hush.
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush.
Wait.
Hush, love, hush.
Think it through.
Once it bubbles,
Then what's to do?
Watch it close.
Let it brew.
Wait.
I've been thinking, flowers
Maybe daisies
To brighten up the room.
Don't you think some flowers,
Pretty daisies,
Might relieve the gloom?
Ah, wait, love, wait.
TODD: And the JUDGE? When will I get him?
MRS. LOVETT: Can't you think of nothing else? Always broodin' away on yer wrongs what happened heaven knows how many years ago
Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly
See, now it's past!
Soon will come.
Soon will last.
Wait.
Don't you know,
Silly man,
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan?
All good things come to
Those who can
Wait.
Gillyflowers, maybe,
'Stead of daisies . ..
I don't know, though . . .
What do you think?
TODD: Yes.
MRS. LOVETT: Gillyflowers, I'd say. Nothing like a nice bowl of gillies.

JOHANNA:
He means to marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'd rather die.
ANTHONY:
I have a plan
JOHANNA:
I'll swallow poison on Sunday,
That's what I'll do, I'll get some lye.
ANTHONY:
I have a plan
JOHANNA :
Oh, dear, was that a noise?
ANTHONY:
A plan
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY;
A plan!
JOHANNA:
It couldn't be,
He's in court,
He's in court today,
Still that was a noise,
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir ...
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'll die of grief.
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight
JOHANNA:
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight ...
JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain ... quick!
ANTHONY:
Tonight ...
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!
ANTHONY:
Tonight!
JOHANNA:
It was agate!
It's the gate!
We don't have a gate.
Still there was a ... Wait!
There's another click!
You must have heard that ...
ANTHONY:
It's not a gate.
There's no gate,
You don't have a gate.
If you'd only listen, miss, and
ANTHONY;
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Tonight?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?
ANTHONY:
The plan is made.
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY;
So kiss me.
JOHANNA:
I feel a fright.
ANTHONY:
Be not afraid.
JOHANNA:
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
Saw you, even as it
Did not matter that I
Did not know your name.
ANTHONY:
Tonight I'll
Steal
You,
JOHANNA,
I'll steal you ...
ANTHONY:
It's me you'll marry on Monday,
That's what you'll do!
JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.
ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan's, noon.
JOHANNA:
I knew I'd be with you one day,
Even not knowing who you were.
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the ...
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
Of course.
JOHANNA:
Quickly!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss,
Marry me, marry me, miss,
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me, favor me
With your hand.
Promise,
Marry me, marry me, please,
Oh, marry me Monday ...
ANTHONY:
You're sure?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
I shall!
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
Oh, sir ...

JUDGE: Walk home with me, for I have news for you. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry Johanna next Monday
BEADLE: Ah sir, happy news indeed.
JUDGE: Strange when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance.
BEADLE:
Excuse me, my lord.
May I request, my lord,
Permission, my lord, to speak?
Forgive me if I suggest, my lord,
You're looking less than your best, my lord,
There's powder upon your vest, my lord,
And stubble upon your cheek.
And ladies, my lord, are weak.
JUDGE: Perhaps if she greets me cordially upon my return, I should give her a small gift. ..
BEADLE:
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord,
Have a fragile sensibility.
When a girl's emergent,
Probably it's urgent
You defer to her gentility, my lord.
Personal disorder cannot be ignored,
Given their genteel proclivities.
Meaning no offense, it
Happens they resents it,
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord.
JUDGE: Stubble, you say? Perhaps at times I am a little overhasty with my morning ablutions .. .
BEADLE:
Fret not though, my lord,
I know a place, my lord,
A barber, my lord, of skill.
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord,
Some eau de cologne to grace my lord
And musk to enhance the chase, my lord,
You'll dazzle the girl until
She bows to your every will.
JUDGE: Perhaps you may be right. Take me to him.

BEADLE:
The name is TODD ...
JUDGE:
Todd,eh?
ANTHONY:
We'd best not wait until Monday
JOHANNA:
Sir, I concur,
And fully, too.
BEADLE:
Sweeney TODD.
ANTHONY:
It isn't right.
We'd best be married on Sunday.
JOHANNA:
Saturday, sir,
Would also do.
ANTHONY:
Or else tonight.
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY:
Fear not.
JOHANNA:
I mean another noise!
ANTHONY:
Like what?
JOHANNA:
Oh, never mind,
Just a noise
Just another noise,
Something in the street,
I'm a silly little
Ninnynoddle --
ANTHONY:
You mustn't mind,
It's a noise,
Just another noise,
Something in the street,
You silly --
BOTH:
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
ANTHONY:
We'll go to Paris on Monday.
JOHANNA:
What shall I wear?
I daren't pack!
ANTHONY:
We'll ride a train ...
JOHANNA:
With you beside me on Sunday,
What will I care
What things I lack?
ANTHONY:
Then sail to Spain ...
JOHANNA:
I'll take my reticule.
I need my reticule.
You mustn't think
Me a fool
But my reticule
Never leaves my side,
It's the only thing
My mother gave me --
Kiss me!
Kiss me!
We'll go there,
Kiss me!
We have a place where we can
ANTHONY:
Why take your reticule?
We'll buy a reticule.
I'd never think
You a fool,
But a reticule --
Leave it all aside
And begin again and
Kiss me!
I know a place where we can go
Tonight.
Kiss me!
We have a place where we can
Go...Go tonight.
BEADLE:
The name is Todd.
JUDGE:
Todd?
BEADLE:
Todd. Sweeney Todd.
JUDGE:
Todd ...
BEADLE:
Todd.
ANTHONY:
I loved you
Even as I saw you,
Even as it did not
Matter that I did
Not know your name
Johanna,
Johanna,
Johanna...

JOHANNA:
I loved you
Even as I saw you,
Even as it does not
Matter that I still
Don't know your name, sir,
Even as I saw you,
Even as it does not
Matter that I still
Don't know your name . ..
BEADLE:
Todd . . . Sweeney Todd.
JUDGE and BEADLE:
Sweeney Todd.
ANTHONY: Anthony . . .
JUDGE: Todd . . .
BEADLE: TODD.
JOHANNA: ANTHONY . . .
JUDGE: TODD, eh?
JOHANNA: ANTHONY:
I'll marry ANTHONY Sunday, You marry ANTHONY Sunday,
That's what I'll do. That's what you'll do,
No matter what! No matter what!
I knew you'd come for me I knew I'd come for you
one day, one day
Only afraid that you'd forgot. Only afraid that you'd forgot.
BEADLE:
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord ...
JUDGE:
Pray lead the way.
BEADLE:
Have a fragile sensibility ...
JUDGE:
Just as you say.
JOHANNA:
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the ...
ANTHONY:
Marry me, marry me, miss,
You'll marry me Sunday.
Favor me, favor me
With your hand.
Promise,
Marry me, marry me,
That you'll marry me --
Enough of all this ...
BEADLE:
When a girl's emergent,
Probably it's urgent. ..
Ladies in their sensitivities .. .
JUDGE:
Todd ...
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir ...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss . . .
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss . . .
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss . . .