Kickapoo

Classico

Baby

Destiny

History

The Government Totally Sucks

Master Exploder

The Divide

Papagenu (He's My Sassafrass)

Dude (I Totally Miss You)

Break In-City (Storm the Gate!)

Car Chase City

Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)

POD

The Metal

..::Jack Black (Narrator)::..
A long ass fuckin' time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through.
But yay there was a black sheep
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B. and he refused to step in-line.
A vision he did see-eth
Fuckin' rockin' all the time.
He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align.

..::Jack Black (Son)::..
Oh the dragons balls were blazin' as I stepped into his cave,
Then I sliced his fuckin' cockles,
With a long and shiney blade!
'Twas I who fucked the dragon,
Fuckalize sing-fuckaloo!
And if you try to fuck with me,
Then I shall fuck you too!
Gotta get it on in the party zone!
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone!
Gotta suck a chode in the party zone!
[Crying]

..::Meat Loaf (Father)::..
You've disobeyed my orders, son,
My way you never [born?].
Your brother's ten times better than you,
Jesus loves him more.
This music that you play for us comes from the depths of hell.
Rock and roll's The Devil's work, he wants you to rebel.
You'll become a mindless puppet;
Beelzebub will pull the strings!
Your heart will lose direction,
And chaos it will bring.
You'd better shut your mouth,
Better watch your tone!
You're going for a week with no telephone!
Don't let me here you cry,
Don't let me hear you moan!
You gotta praise The Lord when you're in my home!

..::Jack Black (Son)::..
Dio can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone.
I'm askin' for your guidance.
Won't you come down from your throne?
I need a tight compadre who will teach me how to rock.
My father thinks you're evil,
But man, he can suck a cock.
Rock is not The Devil's work,
It's magical and rad.
I'll never rock as long as I am stuck here with my dad.

..::Ronnie James Dio (Dio poster)::..
I hear you brave young Jaybles,
You are hungry for the rock.
But to learn the ancient method,
Sacred doors you must unlock.
Escape your father's clutches,
And this oppressive neighborhood.
On a journey you must go,
To find the land of Hollywood!
In The City of Fallen Angels,
Where the ocean meets the sand,
You will form a strong alliance,
And the world's most awesome band.
To find your fame and fortune,
Through the valley you must walk.
You will face your inner demons.
Now go my son and rock!

..::Jack Black (Narrator)::..
So he went from fuckin' Kickapoo With hunger in his heart;
And he journeyed far and wide to find the secrets of his art;
But in the end he knew that he would find his counterpart.
Rooooock. Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock. Raye-yayayayaye-yock.

Can't you see he's the man, let me hear you applaud
he is more than a man he's a shiny golden god.

If you think its time to fucking rock, and fucking roll, out of control,
and then you know you got to rock the block,
and fucking suck my fucking cock,
'cause when you rule, you fucking school all of the fools, out of their jewels,
'cause if you think it's time,
if you think it's time,
if you think it's time to fucking rock.

He is going to kick your fucking ass,
and you know his name is Kyle Gass,
rocking and fucking rolling,
and fucking rocking,
and fucking rolling,
and fucking (vocal solo)...

I can't get to sleep tonight
No matter how hard I try
Cause it's cold and it's dark
And the wind is a whistlin'
And I can't seem to put out the light
Momma's been searching for baby
But baby been tryin' to get home
Cause it's cold and it's dark
And the moon cannot light the way
And Daddy's gone - (bye bye)

I'm just a babyyyyy

(crying)

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
more precious than a diamond on a platinum chain!

In Venice Beach, there was a man named Kage
When he was buskin' he was all the rage.
He met Jables and he taught him well,
all the techniques that were developed in hell.
Cock pushups and the power slide,
geek simulation now there's nowhere to hide.
They formed a band they named Tenacious D,
and then they got the Pick of Destiny.

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
our tasty grooves are better than a chicken chow mein!

Cause he who is sleazy,
is easy to pleasy.
And she who is juicy,
must be loosy-goosey.
And he who is groovy,
will be in my movie,
so come on!

The wizard and the demon had a battle royale,
the demon almost killed him with an evil kapow,
but then he broke his tooth and thus the deamon said oww.

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know our movie's better than the Citizen Kane!

Cause he who's a geezer,
must live in my freezer.
And she who is stockey,
is full of mularkey.
And he who is groovy,
must be in my movie,
so come on!

Oh! Cause if you're a diva,
then go to Geneva.
And if you're a carny,
then suck on my bony.
And if you are groovy,
then get in my movie!

It's called the Pick of Destiny!
The Pick of Destiny.

this is a song called the history of tenacious d
and its not just of list of things that we've done in the past,
but its a chronicling of our rise to POWER!
we ride with kings on mighty steeds across the devil's plain
we've walked with Jesus and his cross
he did not die in vain No!

we' ve run with wolves
we've climbed K2 even stopped a moving train
we've travelled through space and time my friends to rock this house again Rock!

Kyle's fingers be silver
BoTH
Jack's voice then be gold
both lest you think we're vain!

We know its the showcase and we don't care
Tenacious D we reign....
we reign Supreme
OH GOD!!!!!!!!!!Burrito supreme, and a chicken supreme and a Cutless Supreme
Supreme Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!
[scream]Go now Kyle Go now Kyle
SUpreme!!!!!!!!!!
we reign SUpreme

The government totally sucks
You motherfucker
The government totally sucks

Ben franklyn was a rebel indeed
He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed
He was a genious but if he was here today
The government would fuck him up his righteous aayyy

Now let me tell you something about the government (uh huh)
They're fucking up the environment (say what?)
They're taking all the fucking beautiful animals (yeah?)
And making them fucking extinct (oh no!)
The government totally sucks
You motherfucker
The government totally sucks
The government totally sucks

Cos the land of love and freedom,
Is just a days breath away
And if we hold hands together
We can bring back the USA

The USAAAAAA YEAAHHH
Bring back the USAAAA YEAAHH
The fucking USAAAA YEAHHHH
Bring back the US

Government totally sucks!

Hey, whats up. Me and KG wrote this song five minutes ago.
It's called Master Exploder.

Augh! AHGH!

I do not need a microphone
I'm POWERFUL!

AUGH!!!

I did not mean, to blow your mind
But that can happen to me all the time

Come on, take a look
tell me what do you see?
We've got the Pick of Destiny!

What's it gonna be Kyle?
You have to decide.
Tits or destiny?

Tits.

AAHHH OHHHH WAAHH OHHH

WHYYY GO!!

Sasquatch: Arrgggghhhh!
JB: Arrrggghhhh!
Sasquatch: That's good, lets go an adventure,
JB: Yeah, (la la la)
Sasquatch: I've got lots to show you, (la la laaa)
JB: Can i be a sasquatch too? (la la la)
Sasquatch: You already are la la la youre my son JB, my wittle baby sass,
(la la la la la la la la la la la la)
JB: Ahhh.
Sasquatch: Lets take a dip in the strawberry river, (la la la)
JB: Yay!
Sasquatch: C'mon! (C'mon baby lets go!)

Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Oh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!
Oh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!
Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Oh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!

Oh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!

JB: Wheeeee!
Sasquatch: We're flying!
JB: We're flying!
Sasquacth: Hold on boy!

JB: Down where the sasquatch hide,
In the misty mountainside,
He's got shiny diamonds that he's got to protect,
Look into the sasquatch eye,
Did you know that sass could fly?
Sasquatch is my daddy and he's going to protect, me!
Half man, half machine,
On the cover of a magazine,
Bigfoot is my father and he's got to protect, me!
These legends don't make sense,
Think i've found the evidence,
The yeti is ma papa and he wants to protect, me!

dude i totally miss you,
i really fucking miss you,
im all alone,
all the time,
all the time,

dude i totally miss you,
the things we do together,
where have you gone?

totally miss the honesty,
and special times and honestly,
i totally miss the fucked up things you do,

dude i totally miss you,
i totally miss you,
dude i totally miss you,
all the time,

solo ( aaaaaaaaaah )

totally miss the honesty,
and special times and honestly,
i totally miss the fucked up things you do,

dude i totally miss you,
i totally miss you,
dude i totally miss you,
all the time,

2nd solo

totally miss the honesty,
and special times and honestly,
i totally miss the fucked up things you do,

dude i totally miss you,
i totally miss you,
dude i totally miss you,
all the time,

All the tii-eee-iii-eee-iiiime,

JB:
The mission is clear,
i'm going over there
I'm going to do the mission

I flip around the corner,
flat as a pancake
And then i- aww noo! A camera

Stay back here,
devise a plan
Dive into the bushes

(Chorus)
Against all odds
Infiltrate,
storm the gates!
storm the gates!

Ninja style,
samuri (Storm the gates!)
Metal pole,
climb that shit (Storm the gates)
Climb into that mother-fucker
Now i'm climbin up,
up on the roof
I got cat-like reflexes

(Chorus)
Against all odds
Infiltrate,
oh! storm the gates!

Two air-vents on the roof,
thats what the guy was talkin a- Shit!

(Chorus)
Electric Eye
Infiltrate,
storm the gates!
storm the gates!
storm the gates!

Car chase city, that's the name of the game.
It was all proven, it was totally lame.
KG really fuckin' blew us a mess.
Now we're fuckin' headed for a total KAPOW.
Car chase city rollin' with my bud.
Not that it wasn't, but it totally was.
Car chase city, no more rough on the map!
Car chase city, now I'm takin' a crap!
Now it's gettin' heresy, we're shakin' the key!
Never underestimate the power of D!
KG fuckin' put his foot on the gas!
If I go to prison, hide the pick in my ass!
Fuck this shit, it's gone too far!
Kage pull over let me outta the car!
Car chase city, now we're takin' the lane!
JB blew in now we're never the same!
Let's rock, let's roll.
Live it friend I'm feelin' ya.
WHOA!
Let's rock, let's roll.
Car chase city patrol.
Car chase city. [x3]
Let's rock, let's roll.
Car chase city patrol!
Let's rock, let's roll.
Just a fuckin' pick it and roll.
Picks! Speed! Turbo!
Oh! Fuck! Gas! Brakes!
Spinnin' Donut! The Spinnin' Donut!
Roll! Flip It! Gas! Nitro!
Go!
Let's rock, let's roll.
Car chase city patrol!
Let's rock, let's roll.
Just a fuckin' pick it and roll.
Let's rock, let's roll.
Car chase city patrol!
Let's rock, let's roll.
Rockin' will see you from a fool.
Car chase city [x3] (to fade out)

Devil: Hey guys, you're runnin' a little late.
There's one spot left.
You got any new material?
Jables: What we got's gonna turn your brain into shit.
Kage: Dust off the stage open mic host. Step aside.

Beelzeboss:
I AM COMPLETE!

Tenacious D:
(BOTH) Fuuuck

Beelzeboss:
YES YOU ARE FUCKED,
SHIT OUT OF LUCK!
NOW I'M COMPLETE AND MY COCK YOU WILL SUCK!
THIS WORLD WILL BE MINE,
AND YOUR FIRST IN LINE!
YOU BROUGHT ME THE PICK AND NOW YOU SHALL BOTH DIE!

Tenacious D:
(JB) Waaait Waaait Waaait you mother-fucker
we challenge you to a rock off,
(BOTH) Give us one chance to rock your socks off

Beelzeboss:
FUCK! FUCK!
FUUUCK, THE DEMON CODE PREVENTS ME,
FROM DECLINING A ROCK OFF CHALLENGE!
WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS?
WHAT'S THE CAAATCH?

Tenacious D:
(JB) If we win,
you must take your sorry ass back to hell
and also you will have to pay our rent

Beelzeboss:
AND WHAT IF I WIN?

Tenacious D:
(JB) Then you can take Kage back to hell..
(KG) What!?
(JB) Trust me kage it's the only way
(KG) What the fuck are you talkin about?
(JB) To be your little bitch

Beelzeboss:
FINE!
LET THE ROCK OFF BEGIN HAHAHA!
I'M THE DEVIL,
I LOVE METAL!
CHECK THIS RIFF,
IT'S FUCKIN TASTY!
I'M THE DEVIL I CAN DO WHAT I WANT
WHATEVER I'VE GOT AM GONNA FLAUNT!
THERE'S NEVER BEEN A ROCK OFF THAT I'VE EVER LOST!
I CANNOT WAIT TO TAKE KAGE BACK TO HELL
I'M GONNA FILL HIM WITH MA HOT DEMON GEL!
I'LL MAKE HIM SQUEAL LIKE THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL!!

Tenacious D:
(JB) NOOOO! c'mon Kage bring the thunder
(KG) There's just no way that we can win that was a masterpeice
(JB) Listen to me-
(KG) He rocks to hard because he's not a mortal man
(JB) God dammit Kage,
he gonna make you his sex slave,
your gonna gargle Mayonnaise
(KG) Noo
unless we bust a massive monster mamajam
(KG) Dude,
we've been through so much shit
(JB) De-activated lasers with my dick
(BOTH) Now it's time to blow this fucker down
(JB) c'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down
(KG) I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down
(JB) Light up the stage cuz its time for a showdown
(KG) We'll bend you over then we'll take ya to brown town
(BOTH) Now we've got to blow this fucker down
(KG) He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down
(JB) C'mon Kage cuz it's time to blow doors down
(KG) OOOOOOh (?) It's time for the black out
(JB) Hey antichrist ah, Beelzeboss,
we know your weakness, ah rockin socks!
we rock the ?, and blow your mind
we will defeat you, for all mankind
you hold the sceptor,
we hold the key
you are the devil,
we are the D
(BOTH) We are the D (X16)

Beelzeboss:
YOU GUYS ARE FUCKIN LAME COME ON KAGE YOUR COMIN WITH ME
TASTE MY LIGHTNING SUCKERS!

Tenacious D:
(JB) NOOOO!

Beelzeboss:
OW, FUCK!
MY FUCKIN HORN!
OHH NO

Tenacious D:
(JB) From whence you came you shall remain,
until you are complete again

Beelzeboss:
NOOOOO!
FUCK YOU KAGE AND FUCK YOU JABLES
I'LL GET YOU TENACIOUS D!!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know I will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
more precious than a diamond on a platinum chain!

In Venice Beach, there was a man named Kage
When he was buskin he was all the rage.
He met Jables and he taught him well,
all the techniques that were developed in hell.
Cock pushups and the power slide,
gig simulation now theres nowhere to hide.
They formed a band they named Tenacious D,
and then they got the Pick of Destiny.

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know I will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
our tasty grooves are better than a chicken chow mein!

Cause he who is sleazy,
is easy to pleasy.
And she who is juicy,
must be loosy-goosey.
And he who is groovy,
will be in my movie,
so come on!

The wizard and the demon had a battle royale,
the demon almost killed him with an evil kapow,
but then he broke his tooth and thus the demon said "OW"

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know I will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know our movie's better than Citizen Kane!

Cause he who's a geezer,
must live in my freezer.
And she who is starkey,
is full of mularkey.
And he who is groovy,
must be in my movie,
so come on!

Oh! Cause if you're a diva,
then go to Geneva.
And if you're a crony,
then suck on my bony.
And if you are groovy,
then get in my movie!

It's called the Pick of Destiny!
The Pick of Destiny

You can't kill the metal
The metal will live on

Punk rock tried to kill the metal
But they failed as they were smited to the ground

New wave tried to kill the metal
But they failed as they were stricken down to the ground

Grunge tried to kill the metal
Hahahahaha they failed as they were thrown to the ground

(Screaming) Aiieee Aiieee

(Harmonizing)
No one can destroy the metal
The metal will strike you down with a vicious blow
We are the vanquished foes of the metal
We tried to win for why we do not know

New wave tried to destroy the metal
But the metal had its way
Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal
But the metal was in the way
Punk rock tried to destroy the metal
But the metal was in the way
Punk rock tried to destroy the metal
But metal was much too strong
Techno tried to defile the metal
But techno was proven wrong
Yeah!

Metal!
It comes from hell