It's Your Wedding Day

Someday

A Note From Linda

Pop!

Somebody Kill Me

A Note From Grandma

Casualty of Love

Come Out of the Dumpster

Today You Are a Man

George's Prayer

Not That Kind of Thing

Saturday Night in the City

All About the Green

Someday (Reprise)

Right in Front of Your Eyes

Single

If I Told You

Let Me Come Home

If I Told You (Reprise)

Move That Thang

Grow Old With You

It's Your Wedding Day (Finale)

HIDDEN TRACK: Prime Rib or Fish

ROBBIE
I wrote a song six years ago
While playing in a wedding band
The word got out and suddenly
The band and I are in demand
And now couples all over Jersey
Hire me to insure their wedded bliss
All because of a tune I wrote
That tune
Goes like this:
Oh, when it's your wedding day
And my music starts to play
I can guarantee that

ALL
LOVE WILL FIND YOU!

ROBBIE
Yeah, when it's your wedding day
All the problems melt away
If you count on me
'Cause love is what I do
Now when we play a wedding gig

ROBBIE, SAMMY & GEORGE
We're like a finely tuned machine

ROBBIE
Sammy does Van Halen licks
While George gets down on tambourine
We might play you some careless whisper

SAMMY & GEORGE
Or make you wish you had

ALL
Jessie's Girl instead

SAMMY & GEORGE
Bring the room down with endless love

ROBBIE
The blast bang your head

ALL
BANG YOUR HEAD!

ROBBIE, SAMMY & GEORGE
So when it's your wedding day
And my music starts to play
I can guarantee that

ALL
LOVE WILL FIND YOU!

ROBBIE, SAMMY & GEORGE
So when it's your wedding day
All the problems melt away
If you count on me
'Cause love is what I do

ROBBIE
Long before the night is through
Your uncle will be my uncle, too
I'll be so tight with your cousin Steve
He'll invite me over for Christmas Eve
I'll dance your mom all around the room
The present the bride and groom

(Dance break.)

ROBBIE (Spoken)
Line dance, follow me!

ROBBIE & ENSEMBLE
So when it's your wedding day
And my music starts to play
Love will find you
Yeah, when it's your wedding day
All the problems melt away

ROBBIE
If you count on me

ALL
Cause love is what

ROBBIE
Yes, love is what I do

ENSEMBLE
DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO

ALL
LOVE IS WHAT I DO!

(Spoken)
JULIA
Did you see the bride?
She looks so perfect.

HOLLY
I know. Don't you hate her?

JULIA
Hate her?
She's so happy!

(Sung)
She turns around
And she meets his gaze
The lights are dim,
There's a smoky haze
They share a smile
And a secret wave
It's a moment built to save
They start to move
Across the floor
The room is frozen,
Wanting more
The happy couple on display
With nothing standing
In their way
It's so romantic I could die
Right here and now
It's gonna be that way for us
I know somehow
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
All you'll need is me
And all I'll need is you

(Spoken)
HOLLY
Julia, take that veil off!
JULIA
Okay!

(Sung)
They stop and pose
For a photograph
He jokes aorund
Just to make her laugh
The room is full,
But they're all alone
They have a language
All their own
And I'm so jealous I could cry
And yet I know
It won't be long
Before you say
We're good to go
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
All you'll need is me
And all I'll need is you
I know not every marriage
Lasts when things go bad
I've seen the warning signs
I call them "Mom" and "Dad"
But soon you'll take my hand
And pledge your love to me
Till then I'll just get married vicariously

JULIA & WOMEN
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
JULIA
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true

WOMEN
Is coming true

JULIA
All you'll need is me

WOMEN
All you'll need is me

JULIA & WOMEN
And all I'll need is you!

Linda:
To my dearest Robbie,
I think we need some space.
Please forgive my tiny
Dot-dot-dot, smiley face.

You see, I woke this morning,
Prepared to walk on air.
But realized that you cramped my style,
As I crimped my hair.

You're just not that same person,
The guy I used to know.
I'm not in love with "Robbie Now"
But "Robbie Seven Years Ago"

You could have been in Motley Crue
Or David Lee Roth's replacement.
But instead you sing while people chew.
And you live in your grandma's basement!

I hope this note is something
That you can rise above.
Deep down you weren't in love with me,
You were just in love with love.

And so it's best we end this
Before we even start.
Signed your pal Linda.
The "I" is dotted with a broken heart.

Holly:
Every five seconds
A girl gets engaged
According to cosmo's
Latest quiz.
So every five seconds
You get one more chance
To make him get down
On the knees of his.
It's a challenge that
Every woman faces
So let's make sure that
We've covered our bases

Angie:
You've lived off tab and
Lean cuisine

Holly:
Concealed your flaws
With maybelline

Holly & Angie:
You're minty fresh and
Zetfully clean!

Holly:
So he's gonna pop

Angie:
Pop!

Holly:
The question
He's gonna pop

Women:
Pop! Pop!

Holly & Women:
The question
So there's no reason to stop
And question his love
Oh, pop the question

Angie:
Oh my god! She like Cinderella.

Holly:
And I'm like her fairy godmother, only slutty.

Julia:
Every five seconds
I say to myself
That glen and i are bound
To tie the knot
But every five seconds
I can't help but ask
Is someone a catch
If they can't be caught?

Could it be the guy
Has just outgrown me
No matter how you primp me
Or over-cologne me
And jilted girls
Have lousy stats
I'll die alone in sock
And flats
The lady with the fifty cats!

Holly & Angie:
No!

Holly & Women:
He's gonna pop

Julie:
He'll never pop

Holly & Women:
He's gonna pop

Julia:
He'll never

All:
Pop the question

Holly & Women:
So there's no reason to stop
And question his love
Question his love
Question his love

Angie & Holly:
Oh, pop the question!

Holly:
You're gonna be fine. Just breathe.

Glen:
Hey, baby. You look hot. Let's eat.

Julia:
The reason why he
Chose this place
Is now so crystal clear
Like out relationship
We're going round
In circles here
And where he's sitting,
It's as if it all
Revolves around him.

Glen:
Everybody having champagne, you don't want any do you?

Julia:
I'm cool.

If one more couple
Gets engaged
Or i hear on more cork
It's hari kari with fancy
Little salad fork
He nixed the bubbly which
Can only mean
The outlook is grim.

All right, Glen, I know why we're here . . .

Glen:
You do?

Julia:
This is the end, right?

Glen:
The end of what?

Julia:
You know - "the end." The end of you and me as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Glen:
Actually, yeah, it is . . . (opens a ring box)
Cause, baby, I want us to be husband and wife.

Ensemble:
He totally
Popped
The question
Totally popped
The question
So there's not reason to stop
And question his love
Question his love
Question his love

Glen:
What do you say?

Julia:
Yes!

All:
His love!!

Robbie:
You don't know how much I need you
While you're near me I don't feel blue
And when we kiss I know you need me too
I cant believe I found a love that's so pure and true
But it all was bull sh*t
It was a god damn joke
And when I think of you Linda
I hope you f***ing choke
I hope your glad with what you've done to me
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy
You left me here all alone tears running constantly
Oh somebody kill me please
Somebody kill me please
I'm on my knees
Pretty pretty please
Kill me!
I want to die!
Put a bullet in my head

Rosie:
To my dearest Robbie
I know you're feeling low
And those things might seem disperse
There's one thing you need to know
You'll find someone who loves you
Sure as waves will find the shore
And when you're sad, remember
That Linda is a skanky whore

ROBBIE
I thought I had the kind of love
You find in fairy tales
But then my girl ripped out my heart
With her plastic press-on nails
So if you know the kind of pain
This loser's singin' of
Well, let me hear you say it
I'm a casualty of love
Just a casualty of love

SIDEBURNS GIRL
I'm a casualty of love!

ROBBIE
Tell me about it!

SIDEBURNS GIRL
I put a top hat on my cat, and I asked him to the prom

NERD
I was stood up by my date, and by date I mean my mom

FAT LADY
Each night I open up my mouth and give those twinkies a shove

ROBBIE
Well I know why you do it
You're a casualty of love

LOOSERS
I'm a casualty of love

ROBBIE
Just a casualty of love

LOOSERS
A casualty of

ALL
Love

ROBBIE
We're from different walks of life
And different points of view
But we come together now

ALL
Through our hatred of you!
Cause we're casualties of love

ROBBIE
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a hoax, love's a tease
A pinata full of bees
Love's a joke, love's a scam
A Sergeant Slaughter body slam
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I...

You'll end up just like us
Cause, trust me, love always ends
You'll be fat, divorced, and broke
While she has sex with all of your friends

ROBBIE and LOOSERS
You'll be casualties of love
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I need
I need

ROBBIE
No one's ever gonna love
A casualty of love

JULIA
So tonight you made some mistakes
I admit it, you hit a few bumps
But I hate to see you like this
Down on your luck, down in the dumps

Though hope may seem in short supply
You have to move on
You have to try

So come out of the dumpster
Don't leave me standing here
Come out of the dumpster
Its ok; the coast is clear

The cop cars are leaving
Channel 5 packed up its crew
So come out of the dumpster
I'll be right here waiting for you

ROBBIE (spoken)
Ok. I'll try

JULIA (spoken)
All right!

(robbie trys to climb out of the dumpster, but falls back in)

JULIA (sung)
So you're back in the dumpster
Well, thats like a metaphor
Everyone has a dumpster
A stumbling block you can't ignore

But to fight it makes you stronger
And someday you might stand!
So come out of that dumpster
Here, take a hold of my hand

So your first day back wasn't all you anticipated

ROBBIE (sung)
I bit the best man
The bride had to be sedated

JULIA
But this sort of thing happens all the time
When life gives you garbage
You it to climb!

(Robbie climbs out)

Look!
You're out of the dumpster
Now, was that so hard after all?
It was only a dumpster

ROBBIE
And from here, it looks so small

JULIA
Now you're back where you started
On you're way to success
So...
Will you play at my wedding?

ROBBIE
No!

There's a gift from every guest, today you are a man,
The cocktail franks have all been blessed, today you are a man,
Your goyem friends have been agog since they left the synagogue,
Drunk on Schnapps and in a fog and speaking Hebrew best they can-- L'chaim!
'Cause you're a man!

There's a waitress, dressed up like a go-go,
But remember shiksas are a no-no.
Go shake hands with, each Tom, Dick, and Herschel,
They'll be schvitzing and what's even worse,
You'll have to kiss your aunts, and watch a zany dance.
But remember this it could be ten times worse, at least it's not your bris! Your bris!

Today you are a boy, boy, boy
Boy, boy, boy
Boy, boy, boy...
Boy? No, a man! Ole!

George:
Oh, oo hoo,
Baruch atah
Adonai eloheinu
Melech ha'olam.

Oh, shehecheyanu
V'kiy'manu
V'higyanu
Lazman hazeh.

Amen, amen.
Oh Shapiro family.
I said Amen.
Oo hoo, Amen.

Clerk [Spoken]:
Now, kids, couples always argue when they come here to register.
My advice is, be very careful..

Clerk:
It's a situation
First fight.
I've seen couples face disaster.

Why not tell yourselves
You're both wrong,
Both right.
It means that you'll make up faster.

Robbie:
I hate to tell you but we're not with each other.
We're sister and brother.

Julia:
And he's the slow one.

Robbie:
She's an idiot according to mother.

Julia:
It takes one to know one.

Robbie & Julia:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars
In the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind of thing.

Crystal [Spoken]:
Look, a sale on towels!
Hold my purse for me.

Mookie [Spoken]:
Baby, please. No.

Crystal [Spoken]:
I said hold it!

(Crystal holds out her purse. Mookie takes it sheepishly.)

(Julia holds out her purse.)

Julia [Spoken]:
Um, Robbie? Hold my purse?

Robbie [Spoken]:
No.

Julia [Spoken]:
I said hold it!

Crystal:
You get stuck with them for better,

Julia:
Or worse.

Julia & Crystal:
No matter which way you stack it.

Robbie & Mookie:
It's emasculating holding a purse.

Robbie:
And it doesn't match my jacket.

Your evil scheme has worked out just as you planned it,
I now understand it.

Julia:
I shop, you carry.

Robbie:
I do the work and you make out like a bandit.

Julia:
It's true.

Robbie [Spoken]:
No. It's scary.

Julia [Spoken]:
No. You're scary!

Robbie [Spoken]:
You're scary!

Robbie & Julia & Ensemble:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind of thing.

Robbie:
True, there are times
When her eyes meet mine and linger there.
Maybe a bit too long.

Julia:
And I wonder,
Is there something hidden in his stare.

Robbie & Julia:
No, I couldn't be more wrong.

All:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind.
No it's not that kind.
No it's not that kind of thing.

Julia [Spoken]:
Oh my God, Robbie.
That's the dress. That's the dress I was meant to get married in!
You think I'll look all right?

Robbie [Spoken]:
You'll look beautiful.

[Holly]
When the weekend rolls around
I hound the hottest spots
My favorite club will always double all my vodka shots
Got my skin tight bustier and plastic crusafix
Tonight we're gonna party like its 1986
Cuz its saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
Saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city

Once you pass the velvet ropes
Your wildest dreams come true
The dance floor smoke

[robbie]
A bump of coke

[george]
And everything taboo

[robbie]
Oh...i got a pair of parachute pants that grandma bought me to wear

[sammy]
Cant wait til chicks start flocking to my flock of seagulls hair

[all]
New York is reserved for the rich and proud
But here comes the brigde and tunnel crowd

Its saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
Saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city

[guys]
Out on the prowl
[girls]
And dressed to impress

[all]
Hoping sunday morning youll have sins to confess
Cops, punks and posers, and yuppies [?]galore
Everybodys equal when theyre thrashing on the floor

Its saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
Saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city

[music interlude]

[glen]
Look at the wedding singer go, Holly is gonna rock his world tonight

[julia]
Wow shes kinda into him

[glen]
Anything wrong baby?

[julia]
Why would anything be wrong? Lets get drunk!

[all]
Ohohohohhhh woooohhhhohhhohhh
Saturday night in the city

[spoken]
[julia]
Hey! Glen and i got engaged

[robbie]
Yeah you already told us that. is she ok? she seems a little tipsy?

[julia]
I'm not tipsy, i'm Hammered!

[glen]
Ok baby, time to go home.

[robbie]
Maybe i should help glem

[holly]
Forget him, forget everybody!
[sung]
Check out the view
Youll like what you see
My body's an amusement park
The first rides on me
Dont stop to question
If youre gonna score
Being young and stupid is what saturday is for!
[all]
Is what saturday is for

Cuz its saturday night {oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night in the city{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night in the city{oh oh Oohhh}

[holly]
That wasnt anything like that kiss you gave julia

[robbie]
Holly....

[holly]
I cant believe i never noticed it

[robbie]
What?

[holly]
You have a thing for julia

[robbie]
No i dont

[holly]
Robbie...shes marrying glen....

{outside}
[glen]
I told you some air would make you feel better

[julia]
You are like so awesome...and youre hair is..so hard

[glen]
Uh huh
The valets pulling the car around we'll get you home and in bed

[robbie]
Tell the night to save its moonlight
Tell the birds not sing
Tell yourself that you must have been out of your mind
Cuz its not that kind...
No its not that kind....
Of thing!

{musical interlude}

[holly]
Saturday night in the city!!!!!

[all]
Saturday night {oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night in the city{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night{oh oh Oohhh}
Saturday night in the city{oh oh Oohhh}

Glen:
There's a big shiny future
You've been dying to buy
Better start power lunching
In your power tie
You can't wait for fate
To somehow intervene
If you wanna be somebody
It's all about the green

Robbie (spoken):
I'm sure it's a little more complicated...

Glen (sung):
It's all about the green

Some may say you're headed
Down a crooked trail
But if you sell your soul,
At least you've made a sale
You could end world hunger
Or create a vaccine
But if you wanna be somebody
It's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the
Big bucks
Fat checks
Midnight flights
To LAX

Glen & 1st Suit:
Slush funds
High fives

Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Trading stocks
And trading wives

Glen, 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Suit:
C notes
Half G's

Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, & 4th Suit:
Buy out
The Japanese

Glen, 1st Suit, 2nd Suit, 3rd Suit, 4th Suit & 5th Suit:
Land deals
Down in Bocca

Glen:
Doing drinks
With Iacocca
Yeah, it's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the green

Junior Secretary (spoken):
Hey, Gulia, I just got back from Seattle.
There's a coffee store there that's thinking of going national.
Did you get my memo on that?

Glen (spoken):
Nobody's ever gonna pay three bucks for a cup of coffee!
Bring me some real tips!

Second Suit (spoken):
I got something - my brother-in-law works for Coca-Cola.
They're changing their formula - gonna sell it as "New Coke".

Glen (spoken):
New Coke - that's brilliant! Buy all the Coca-Cola stock you can get your hands on! See, Robbie...

(Sung)It's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the
Bank rolls
Legal tender
Strippers screaming

Glen's Secretary:
"Hey, Big Spender!"

Glen & 1st Suit:
Cut throat
Firm Expansion

Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Regroup at the
Playboy Mansion

Glen, 1st, 2nd & 3rd Suit:
Blue chips
Pink slips

Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Suit:
Foreign beers
And ego trips

All:
Bank boards
Gettin' antsy

Glen:
Jellybeans
From Ron and Nancy
Yeah, it's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the

Glen:
Corporate hacks like
Stabbing backs
And twisting arms real slow
But you only holler uncle
If your uncle is the C.E.O.
Yeah, it's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the
Quick deal
Liquidation

Glen and 1st Suit:
S&L
Deregulation

Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Grand slam
Strong gainer

Glen, 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Suit:
Dershowitz
On retainer

Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Suit:
Output
Income

Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th Suit:
Skimming off
A tidy sum

Glen:
Reaganomics
Quid pro quo

All:
The G.O.P. is S.R.O.

Glen:
Yeah, it's all about the green

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the money

Suits:
Wanna be somebody?

Glen:
It's all about the

Robbie:
It's all about the pay dirt
Shuck and jive

Glen:
Five to Nine

Robbie:
Not nine to five

Glen:
Kick backs

Robbie:
Payola

Both:
Inside tips
On Pepsi-Cola

Glen:
Nasdaq

Robbie:
Dow Jones

Both:
Worshipping
The Milken Clones
Old cigars
New Camara
Yo quiero
More dinero

Suits:
It's all about the green

Robbie:
I wanna be somebody

Suits:
It's all about the green

Robbie:
I wanna be somebody

Glen:
Wanna be somebody

Suits:
It's all about the green

All:
Wanna be somebody

Suits: It's all about the green

All:
Wanna be somebody
It's all about the
All about the green

Someday when it's me
I hope our love was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for...Hesitation
Someday when the dream is coming true
Will you be right for me?
Will i be right for you?

HOLLY
Everytime you see his face you get annoyed,
And if ignorance is bliss, he's overjoyed.
And can we talk about that stuff he calls his hair?
But what would happen if one day he wasn't there?

Caught by surprise,
Could you wake up one day and realize
The one that you want is right in front of your eyes?

Every night a hundred guys come through the door.
They take your breath away each time they take the floor.
And they've got the bucks, the tux, the killer face,
But you're still thinking of that jackass with a face.

You're caught by surprise.
Could you wake up one day and realize
That the one that you want is right in front of your eyes?

You might have a champagne wish or two,
Plus a caviar dream.
But are the lifestyles of the rich and famous
Really all they seem?

(break for music)

ROBBIE
The one that you want's right in front of your eyes.

HOLLY
You're caught by surprise.
Could you wake up one day and realize
That the one that you want,
The one that you want,
The one that you want
Is right in front of your eyes?

[sammy]
No one tells you how you ought to live
No one glares when you do jello shooters
*all* jello
[sammy]
And no one says that youre insensitive
Cuz their birthday meal took place at hooters
*oooooooo*
And no one tells you that your bald spots grown or that you ought to tone your flab
*tone your flab*
So pour a double gin
Here's to your double chin

*all*
Yes start the party
Start at ten

[sammy]
Cuz youre single
You are single
Yeah youll keep staying single if your smart
*if you are smart*
Yeah youre single
You are single
No chick will ever moonwalk on your heart
*moonwalk on your heart*
Trust me..
This is when the good times really start!

[sammy]
No one minds the laundry on your floor

[bartender-ricky]
No one pouts with every chick you look at

[bum]
No one tries to clean your porno drawer

[sammy]
No one traps you with
*all* does my ass look fat

[george]
Bust a move in womens underwear
While your flasking cher-a-wear
*cher-a-wear*

*all*
So fill your rangers cup
The toilet seat stays up
The fridge gets stocked with beer and spam

[sammy]
Cuz youre single
You are *single*

[george]
Not a care in the world can bother you
*can bother you*
You are singal
You are singal
You could do what youve always want to do
*always want to do*
No commitments cuz youre only passing through

{rap}

[bartender-ricky]
Whoa making a date with cellini girl is a waste of my time and my gerrycurl

[sammy]
I dont need a girl who dont understand when I got a date with my left hand.

[bum]
Well I like the ladies heavens knows, but in the words of niche bros before hoes

[george]
Now I dont like a girl who would cry and bawl
In fact, I never liked girls at all

[robbie]
Sammy, georgie, ricky, and bum, i'm starting to see where youre coming from

[robbie]
Cuz i'm *single*
Oh yeah *single*
I'll behave like a dudes meant to behave
*OoOoOoOoO meant to behave*
Always single
Ever single
Single now and til i'm in my grave

*single til I am lying in my grave*

[robbie]
Youre the best sammy...

[sammy]
Though at times I might want someone to hold me tight
And promise me that everything will be alright

[bum]
Everything will me ALLright

[sammy]
Thanks man

[all]
I'll stay single til i'm rotting slowly in my lonely forgotten grave

ROBBIE
Waiting here underneath your window
Hoping for some kind of sign
Every move, every tiny gesture
Only proves that you're not mine
I could write you a thousand love songs
Search the world for the perfect tune and rhyme
But what good would it do when it seems I'm out of time

If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know

JULIA
Who's that girl with the perfect future
Her reflection says it all
Trying hard to pretend she's eager
Searching for some way to stall
So unsure of the road she's chosen
Faced with feelings her heart should not allow
On thing's certain, it seems
That she just can't turn back now
If she can, tell her how

BOTH
If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you (if I hold you)
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know

Would it just be better...
Not to know

[Linda]
I know I kinda went out with a bang
When I dumped you out of the blue
But my hearts just like a boomerang
It came right back to you
Now i'm confessin
I learned my lesson
Give me a blessin to come back home to stay
Heres what i'm trying to say

Let me come home to you baby
Let me come home
Let me come home to you baby
Let me come home

[robbie]
I dont wanna be alone anymore

[linda]
You dont have to be baby

Now I can try to meet some glamorous guy
And things might turn out cool
But as I learned when I applied to devry
You gotta have a safety school
Now youre my back up
Dont make me pack
And have to shack up down by the interstate
Yeah or in the rain

Let me come home to you baby
Let me come home
Let me come home to you baby
Let me come home

And tomorrow when you wake up
Youll no longer have an ex
Because the best part of the break up
Is the make up sex

{musical interlude}

Let me come home to you baby
Let me come home
Let me come home to you baby
Let me come home
Let me come home to you baby
Let me come home
Let me come
Let me come
Let me come....HOOOOOOOME!

[Rosie]
I'm now going to read a poem that I wrote for my husband,
On this our very special day.

[Robbie]
And I wonder if I might have let you slip away, and are you gone for good.
And I wonder is there something left that I could say...
And

[robbie & Julia]
If I told you

[J] All the words I've yet to say
[R] I wonder if I told you...
[J] would they matter, or would you simply turn and walk away...

[Rosie]
And now that its been fifty years I still have you to dry my tears
And shield me from all fears and harms
Here's to fifty more years in your arms

[Robbie]
I wonder if its true...I wonder if I hold you... I wonder
[Julia]
If I hold you, will you tell me I should go
Do I chance it or would it just be better not to know

[Robbie]

Would it just be better...not to know

[george]
Mrs. hart, it seems we've lost half of out band...
This is awkward...

[rosie]
George, I think I can come up with something.... give me a beat

[r]
Well first things first, my name is rose
I can bust fly rhymes just like the pros
I aint got time for tea and scones
Forget rocking chairs I rock microphones
The roof
The roof
The roof might have snow
But that dont mean there aint a fire burning down below

[g]
Cuz its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[both]
Never too late to move that thang

[g]
Well you say it like a boom just blinking
And trugging cant hear the truth cuz you might start buggin

[r]
Now the r to the o the s to the e
Do you feel me boo?

[g]
Indubitively.
When fiercest of dreams are not fufillis
Just reply...
[r]
What you talkin bout willis?

[g]
So you sayin the tape keeps back and stride
Just pass the dutchie on my left hand side

[r]
Keep it cool and youll never start illin

[g]
I know youre not illin

[r]
I'm chillin like a villain

[g]
Well its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[both]
Never too late to move that thang

[music interlude]

[g]
Well its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[r]
Never too late to move that thang
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Move that thang
Move that thang
[g]
Never too late

[both]
Never to late to move that thang

[g]
Word to your grandmotha

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, and even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.

[Robbie & Julia]
I'll miss you, kiss you, take your shoes off and rub your feet.
Need you, feed you, and when we play checkers i'll let you cheat.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the one who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

[sammy]
He wrote a song six years ago while playing in a wedding band

[george]
The word got out and suddenly his band was super in demand

[impersonator 0]
People call him the wedding singer
He sang at weddings and soon the name was out

[holly]
But he got dumped by his fiance and then...
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped

[impersonator 1]
He met a girl named julia
Who saved him from his tale of woe

[impersonator 2]
*speaks phillipino*

[sammy]
For those of you who speak phillipino you know that things ended up the way they should

[impersonator 3]
Thats the way that the story ends

[rosie]
Care to dance?

[impersonator 3]
Yes I would come on granny show me what youre made of

[master of ceremony]
Ladies and gentlemen, mr. and mrs. Robbie Hart!

[robbie and julia]
If I told you what i'm feeling now inside
Youd be certain theres not a single thing that we should hide
If I hold you...theres one problem you should know...
If I hold you... I might not ever let you go

*all*
Never let you go...
Never let you go...

[robbie]
So when its your wedding day
And my music starts to play
I can guarantee that

[ALL]
Oh oh ohhhhhhhhh
Woo oh oh

*all*
LOVE WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU!

[robbie]
Yeah when its your wedding day
All the problems melt away
If you count on me
Cuz love is what...
Yes love is what....
[all]
Oh oh ohhhhhhhhhh
Woo oh oh

[robbie-spoken]
I do.

[Julia-spoken]
I do.

*ALL*
*I DOOOOOOOOO....*

Love is what I DOOOOOOOOOO....

texttext