Overture

The Happiest Town

The Brain

Please Don't Touch Me

Together Again

Roll In The Hay

Join The Family Business

He Vas My Boyfriend

The Law

Life, Life

Welcome To Transylvania

Transylvania Mania

He's Loose

Listen to Your Heart

Surprise

Please Send Me Someone

Man About Town

Puttin' On The Ritz (Music and Lyrics by Irving Berlin)

Deep Love

Frederick's Soliloquy

Deep Love (Reprise)

FinaleUltimo

texttext

[Herald]
Make Way! Make Way!
(spoken) Make way for the funeral procession
of Doctor Victor von Frankenstein, maker of monsters!

[All]
Listen to our tale of woe,
a story we must tell.
What happened in that castle made our lives a living hell!

A mad man who was crazy
brought a dead man back to life,
who hurt and lamed
and killed and maimed,
our town was torn with strife!

[Women]
But now we're not afraid no more,
we see a brighter day.

[All]
He's laid to rest,
we're truly blessed,
and this is what we say...

Things are swell now,
ring that bell now
We're in heaven,
no more hell now.

Now the doctor's dead, goodbye to dread
We're the Happiest Town in Town!

We're all smiles now,
lose t hat frown now
No more monsters get us down now
Now the doctor's passed,
We're free at last
We're the Happiest Town in Town!

(spoken)
[Kemp]
Hold the happiness!

[Villagers]
Kemp! Kemp! It's Inspector Kemp! It's Kemp!

[Woman #1]
Hold the happiness? Why, Inspector Kemp?

[Kemp]
Because as long as a Frankenstein lives, our village is in danger!

[Male #1]
But, Inspector, the Baron is dead. And he was the last of the Frankenstein!

[Kemp]
No!

[Villagers]
No?

[Kemp]
One lives! A grandson!

[Ziggy]
Who is he?

[Herald]
What does he do?

[Kemp]
He's a professor,
the Dean of Anatomy at New York's most famous institute of higher learning,
the Johns, Miriam, and Anthony
Hopkins School of Medicine!
As long as this Young Frankenstein walks the earth, we will never be safe.

[Ziggy]
I may be the village idiot, but I ask you
What are the chances of a New York doctor ever coming to Transylvania?

[All]
None! Yeah!

(sung)
On this happy day we say amen
We have wanted this
since God knows when

[Ziggy]
No more Frankenstein

[All]
You can say that again!

[Ziggy]
No more Frankenstein

[All]
We're the Happiest Town in Town
No more Frankenstein

[Ziggy]
No more Frankenstein
[Women]
No more Frankenstein
x3

[Ziggy and Women]
Frankenstein...Frankenstein
Frankenstein...Frankenstein
Frankenstein...Frankenstein

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

Man 1: Its been said that your grandfather brought dead tissue back to life.Is that true
Doctor Frankenstein?

Man 2: Its been said that your grandfather created a horrifying monster.Is that true,
Doctor Frankenstein?

Man 3: Its been said, nay even sung,
that your grandfather's monster hurt and lamed, killed and maimed.
Is that true, Doctor Frankenstein?

Chorus: Is that true, Doctor Frankenstein? X2
Is that true? X 4
Doctor Frankenstein!?

Frederick:
That's Frankenstein
My name, it's pronounced Frankenstein
Yes, yes, yes. The whole world knows what my grandfather did.
But please do I look like the kind of madman
that would prowl around graveyards digging up freshly buried corpses?

Man: Well Professor...

Frederick: Don't answer that.

I'm not a Frankenstein
I don't indulge in hijinx or tomfooleries.

I'm not a Frankenstein
I don't believe in mummies, ghosts, or ghouleries.

I deal in facts not fiction
I am a scientist
I live for truth and reason
That's the reason I exist.

There is a vast difference between my crazy grandfather's delusional experiments
and my own devotion to pure science
Which leads us directly to the subject of today's lecture.

The Brain
There is nothing like the Brain
Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys
When stacked against the Brain

Insane
I'm insane about the Brain
No invention in the universe
Is equal to the Brain
The mouth's a marvel when it comes to eating
I've nothing against the womb
I thank the bladder when I'm excreting
And I always give the elbow room

But the Brain
Please allow me to explain
There's no organ to compare to it
I swear to it.
It's plain!
It's the Brain

Mr. Hilltop here.
With whom I have never worked
Nor given any prior instruction to
Has graciously offered his services for this afternoon's demonstration

His Medulla Oblongata
Tells his brain stem that it's gotta
Send an impulse full of data
Which creates a lot of pain

His frontal lobe gets busy
With a thought that makes him dizzy
Puts his cortex in a tizzy
So he never will complain

That's what I love about the Brain

Mr. Hilltop, will you raise your left knee please.
You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse
Mr. Hilltop, you may lower your knee

Reflex movements, on the other hand
Are those which are made independently of the will
Why you dirty rotten yellow son of a bitch!

Even though I almost kneed him
His reflexes have no freedom
To react when I mistreat him
Its important I explain

Synaptic Nerve Connection
Goes its way without detection
Bringing Cranial Protection
In a never ending chain

That's what I love about the Brain

But what if we were to block those nerve impulses
By simply applying local pressure
Which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp
Just at the swelling of the posterior nerve roots
For say oh... 4 seconds

Why you mother grabbing bastard!

As you can see even though I just smashed my knee into his crotch
He does react, he feels absolutely nothing

(Mr. Hilltop moans in pain)

... More or less.

So, if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses from the Brain
We would collapse like a bunch of broccoli
And in conclusion
So there's no confusion
Let me say it once again

Though your genetalia
Has been known to fail ya
You can bet your ass on the Brain!
Everybody!

All: The Brain!
There is nothing like the Brain!
It's the king of our anatomy
And ever shall it reign!

Frederick: You can
Call me Copernicus, Kepplar, and Newton
Compare me to Freud and I'd feel highfalutin
Call me a Darwin I love that man's theory
Call me Pasteur and watch me get teary
Say Madam Curie that would be the best
Call me a Rorschach Im up to the test

I really light up when you call me Edison
Call me an Ehrlich I like that man's medicine
Call me Marconi that wireless wow!
Call me Pavlov and I bark like a choux Woof!
Call me an Einstein and that would be fine
Call me a Tesla I wouldn't decline
But to call me a Frankenstein would be insane

Cuz I
Love
The
Brain!!!!!!

[Thanks to Anonymous for lyrics]
[Thanks to Joseph Labatt for corrections]

[Elizabeth]
Dream all you want my darling
Of every lustful situation
Those naughty thoughts
Are fine with me
As long as they
Stay locked away
In your imagination

You can hug me til I scream
If it's only in a dream
But please don't touch me
You can feel me til I squeal
Just as long as it's not real
But please don't touch me

You can stick me
You can lick me
You can pinch me til I'm blue
You can bite me
And delight me til I'm blind
You can savage me
And ravage me
I care not what you do
If the lovely filthy things you do
Are only in your mind

You can spank me til I'm red
If it's only in your head
But please don't touch me
You can have me don't you see
If it's just a fantasy
But please don't touch me

[spoken]
Oh Freddie, darling, I know that you're a virgin.

[Frederick Frankenstein]
Yes, for me, science has always come first.

[Elizabeth]
And as every guy in New York knows - I come first too.

After our wedding
You'll be oh so glad we waited
Until then
Take cold showers when you're overstimulated

Anticipation is sublime
And although you might think I'm
A tease
Please don't touch me

[Female pedestrian]
Oh everybody look! How unique. They're not touching.

[Male pedestrian]
It must be "Please Don't Touch Me,"
the new dance craze that's sweeping catholic girl schools all over the midwest.

[Female pedestrian]
Oh what fun! Let's try it.

[Chorus]
Please don't
Please don't
Please don't touch me

[Elizabeth]
Do not hug us
Do not drug us
Do not slug us til we cry
Do not throb us
Do not rob us of our wits

[Male chorus]
We won't poke you
We won't stroke you
Til we're just about to die

[Elizabeth]
But even in your wildest dreams
Don't dare to touch our tits
Don't dare to touch our tits

[Female chorus]
Don't dare to touch our tits
Don't touch our tits
Don't touch our tits
Don't touch our

[Elizabeth]
Tits, tits, tits, tits
Tits, tits, tits, tits
Tits!
Our tits!

When we're absolutely wed
You can do it til we're dead

[Frederick Frankenstein]
Elizabeth!

[Chorus]
Til then please, please, please
We're down on our knees

[Elizabeth]
Please keep your hands off these

[Chorus & Elizabeth]
Please don't touch me

[Chorus]
We won't touch you

[Elizabeth]
Please don't touch me

[Chorus]
We won't touch you

[Chorus & Elizabeth]
She's so touchy

[Elizabeth]
OH!

[Igor]
(spoken)
Oh, the fantasic things we'll do.
It'll be like old times. You and me.
Right up there with the world's greatest pairs!

(sung)
Like Laurel and Hardy,
like Coke and Baccardi
Like Juliet and Romeo,
Ebb and Flow,
To and Fro,
Together, Together again...

Together again for the first time,
We've only met in a dream!
Up until now it's been the worst time,
but now that you're here,
we're a team!

Together again for the first time,
haven't a woe or a care
No longer a bad and accursed time
It's easy to see, you have to agree
We're destined to be a great pair!

All of my life I've been stoogin' around,
nothin' to do, at my loss.
All of my life I've been stoogin' around
But what good is a stooge
If He ain't got a boss?!?!

Together again for the first time,
back on the track to renown
We're gonna thrill 'em,
We're gonna kill 'em
You'll be the teacher,
We'll make a new creature,
and scare the bloomin' daylights right out of this town!

(spoken)
[Frederick]
No, stop it! Stop it! You don't understand.
I'll only be here for a few days, to settle my grandfather's estate, and then
I'm heading straight back to New York. No laboratories, no creatures.

[Igor]
Bet you change your mind, master.
C'mon, join in a chorus, it's fun!

[Frederick]
My dear Igor,
I happen to be the Dean of Anatomy at a world-renown School of Medicine.
Although, I do sing a bit. And was,
in fact, a Whiffenpoof at Yale.

[Igor]
A Wiffenpoof, wow! C'mon doc, nobody's around!

[Frederick]
Well, nobody is around...what the hell!

(sung)
Together again for the first time!
Haven't a woe or a care!

[Igor]
Together again for the first time
Haven't a woe or a care!
This is the best time

[Frederick]
No longer a bad and accursed time,
It's easy to see

[Igor]
You have to agree

[Igor and Frederick]
We're destined to be a great pair!

[Frederick]
May I?

[Igor]
Take it!

[Frederick]
All of my life, I've been bossing around, mean and alone like a Scrooge.
All of my life I've been bossing around,
But what good is a boss if he ain't got a Stooge?!

(spoken)
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't wish to embarrass you, but I am a rather brilliant surgeon.
Perhaps I could help you with that hump.

[Igor]
What hump?

[Both]
Together again for the first time,
We're only met in a dream

[Frederick]
Like Ginger and Freddie

[Igor]
Macdonald and Eddy

[Frederick]
Like San Juan and Teddy

[Igor]
Or Meatballs and Spaghetti!

[Both]
But the pair that we cry for
The pair that we sigh for
The pair that we die for
is Fron-kon-steen and Eye-gore,
For the first time
together again!

Together again for the first time,
We've only met in a dream

[Frederick]
Like Gimbel and Macy

[Igor]
Like Hepburn and Tracy

[Frederick]
Like Lombard and Gable

[Igor]
Like good ol' Cain and Abel!

[Both]
For t he first time,
Together again!
Together forever again!

[Thanks to Devyn, Megan for lyrics]

Frederick:(Spoken)How are we getting to the castle?

Inga:(Speaks in German)

Frederick:(Spoken)What's that?

Inga:(Spoken)A hay ride!

Inga:Roll, roll, roll in ze hay
Roll, roll your troubles away
When life is awful
Just jump on a straw full
And roll, roll in ze hay

Roll, roll, roll in ze hay
Roll, roll, do it all day
When spirits are saggin'
Just jump in a wagon
And roll, roll in ze hay

Inga:(Spoken)I'm very high spirited doctor. I hope you won't hold it against me.

Frederick:(Spoken)Oh. I'll try not to.

Inga:Hitch those horses up for a gay ride
We'll have lot's of fun
Nothings better than a hay ride
Underneath the sun
Roll, roll, roll in ze hay
Sometimes love finds a way
You might steal a kiss
From an unwitting miss
Whose not to resistant to play
So let's roll, roll, roll, roll in ze hay

Inga:(Spoken)So, have you thought of any ways you could use me?

Frederick:(Spoken)Two.And I'm working on a third.

Inga:(Spoken)Oh, good! Does that mean I'm hired?

Frederick:(Spoken)Well, a large part of me is pointing in that direction.

Frederick & Inga: Roll, roll in ze hay.

Igor: We'll go up the path, then down the hill, back up the path, then down the hill.
We'll go up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down.

Frederick & Inga: Up and down, and up and down,
and up and down, and up and down and.

Inga:Up?

Frederick:Down?

Inga:Up?

Frederick:Down?

Inga:Up!

Frederick:Down!

Inga:Up!

Frederick:Down!

Igor:(Sung in unison)Hitch those horses up for a gay ride
We'll have lot's of fun
Nothings better than a hay ride
Underneath the sun

Inga: Yodeladie, yodeladie

Frederick & Igor: Roll in it

Inga: Roll in it
Yodeladie, yodeladie

Frederick & Igor: Roll in it

Inga:Roll in it
Come take a hay ride
And take your breath away ride
Roll in it
Roll in ze hay
Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Ladie,Ladie,Ladie,
Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
Yodeldee.

(Howling)

Frederick: What's that?

Inga:Vervolves.

Frederick:Werewolves!

Igor: THERE! THERE WOLVES!

Frederick: What?

Igor:THERE WOLVES!THERE CASTLE!

Frederick: Why are you talking like that?

Igor: I DON'T KNOW! I don't know, I don't...I don't know.
I thought you wanted me to.

Frederick: Well I don't.

Igor: Hmm. Have it your way. I'm easy.

Inga: Yodeladie,ho-dee-dae,yodeladie,
ho-dee-dae,yodel-dee-dae,yodel-dee-dae,
yodeladie,yodeldee,yodeladie,yodeladie,
yodeladie,yodeladie,yodel-dee-dae
Roll in ze dee
Yodeladie,ho-dee-dae,yodeladie, ho-dee-dae,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,
yodeldee,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,
yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,
yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeldee.

Frederick & Igor: So let's roll, roll, roll. We'll all roll, roll, roll.

Inga: Come with me and roll.

Frederick & Igor:(Sung in unison)Roll in it, roll in it,
roll in it, roll in it, roll in it, roll in it.

Frederick,Inga & Igor: Roll in the hay!

[Victor]
We've been the pride of Romania
since Twelve-O-One,
Passed on for generations,
Father to Son

Descended from gypsies,
as proud as we can be.
Don't risk my curse, it could be worse
Embrace your fam'ly tree!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness
Learn the family trade
Make yourself a monster
Make the world afraid!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
You must take the fam'ly name!
Follow in our footsteps
and you'll win eternal fame!

The Roqueforts are celebrated
for their Roquefort cheese,
the Rothschilds are famous for their wines
Hersheys have their choc'lates
and Liptons have their teas
But when it comes to making monsters, You can't beat the Frankensteins!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness
Rob a grave or two,
Stop the shop from closing,
It all depends on you!
Uphold the fam'ly honor,
you must toe the fam'ly line,
Join the fam'ly bus'ness
Join the fam'ly bus'ness
Join the fam'ly bus'ness
For your name is Frankenstein!

Meet your family!

[All]
Join the fam'ly bus'ness
Show some fam'ly pride

[Men]
Make yourself a monster...

[Women]
And then you'll make his bride!

[Victor]
Listen to your Great, Great, Great Grandfather Mordecai

[Mordecai]
Join the fam'ly bus'ness
If you don't want to die!

[All]
As you know predestination
From day the of your creation
Has determined your vocation
That's a fact.

[1st solo]
Because you are a Frankenstein

[2nd solo]
You have no choice

[3rd solo]
You can't decline

[4th solo]
So show some spine

[All]
It's time to sign the fam'ly pact

This is your fate
Become a Frankenstein before it's too late!

We know you won't regret it,
You should express your willingness
Why not acquiesce, reassess,
You're under stress

[Victor]
Just relax and make a serum
Come up with a brilliant theorem,
take you knife,
create a life

[All]
It ain't no fuss!

[Victor]
Join the fam'ly enterprise,
Best be prudent, best be wise!
Time to open up your eyes
Join the fam'ly bus'ness!

[All]
Join the fam'ly enterprise,
Best be prudent, best be wise!
Time to open up your eyes
Join the fam'ly bus'ness!

Join the fam'ly enterprise,
Best be prudent, best be wise
Time to open up your eyes
Come on, come clean
Don't make a scene,
Your name's not Fronk-en-steen!

Join the family business
Learn the family trade
Make yourself a monster
Make the world afraid
This is one position that you never can resign

[Victor]
Do not make a fuss,
There's nothing to discuss
You must be one of us

[All]
Young Frankenstein!

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

[Frau Blucher]
Love comes when you least suspect it,
love dances in on a whim,
I thought maybe I could direct it,
But I never expected...
A guuy like him.

He was a bully und a brute,
he vas as crazy as a coot,
still I didn't give a hoot,
He vas my boyfriend!

With ev'ry voman he vould flirt,
He alvays treated me like dirt,
But I vas happy to be hurt,
He vas my boyfriend!

I vas as pure as a virgin meadow,
lying with Vicotr in the gloam.
Then he turned to me, that charmer, whispered, "Let's play farmer."
And plowed me 'til the cows came home!

He vas a monster and a beast,
His midnight bangings never ceased,
it didn't faze me in the least,
He vas my boyfriend!

(spoken)
I'll never forget the first time I met Victor. It vas on the village green,
at the annual bock beer festival, where every beer cost a bock.
I vas an innocent young lamb and he was a dirty old goat.
Ve vere made for each other.
All of a sudden, he took out his paraphernalia and shouted,
"Let's play croquet!", and off to the field ve vent.
He carried his hoops and mallets and I carried his balls.
What a festival! Fun and games all day long. Archery, badminton, potato sack.
Victor won the three-legged race...all by himself. It vas love at first sight.

(sung)
He vas the one I gave my heart to,
but ve never wed even so,
If I mentioned wedlock,
he'd put me in a headlock!

Vhen I asked to be his wife,
he stabbed me with a kitchen knife,
Ach, where did the good times go?

If he had an angry fit,
I vas the first thing that he'd hit,
but I didn't give a shit...

He vas my boyfriend!

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

texttext

FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
(Spoken)
So, now we hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death its self

(Sung)
Ever since the beginning of time
When life arose from prime evils line
Death has ruled without question
Death has Ruled supreme
Without the least suggestion
That man could foil it's scheme
But now we call on science
To end deaths evil reign
We shout in brave defiance
This soul shall live again

Life, life, let my creature live
Life, life, it's life that you must give
Fate, fate, through this storm and strife
Fate, fate, give my creature life
Tear the night asunder
Cast your light upon the dark
Lightning bolts and thunder will ignite a mortal spark

Life, life, air the break of dawn
Life, life, let my dream be born
Fate, fate, through this storm and strife
Fate, fate, give my creature life
Give my creaure life

(spoken)
This is it! Igor, throw the first switch

IGOR
Yes Master

FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
(sung)
Life, life, give my creature life
Give my creaure life

(spoken)
Now, throw the secoond switch

IGOR
Yes Master

COMPANY
Give the creature life

FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
(sung)
Tear the night asunder
Cast your light upon the dark
Lightning bolts and thunder will ignite a mortal spark

(spoken)
Now, Igor, throw the third switch

IGOR
Not the third switch

FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
Yes the third switch, throw it damn you throw it

IGOR
Yes master

FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
Inga, now!

(sung)
Give me life!
Air the break of dawn
Let my dream be born
Through this storm and strife
Through the wind swept air
Listen to my prayer
Stir its frame
Let breathing start
Let me hear his beating heart
give my creature life!!

[Thanks to Robyn for lyrics]

[Village Quartet]
Hmmmmm...

Welcome to Transylvania,
We're very happy that you're here!
Welcome to Transylvania,
We greet you with a mighty cheer!
Chalujnik!

[Kemp]
We're considered both a Death and a Tourist Trap

[All Five]
Thanks to all the Frankensteins,
You put us on the map!

[Bass]
So...

[Village Quartet]
Welcome to Transylvania

[Kemp]
Though vampires suck your blood at night,
and werewolves prowl in the pale moonlight

[All Five]
And zombies have a tendency to roam,
It's the place that we humbly call Home
Transylvania!

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

Igor:
Have you heard about the mania
if not then let me explain t'ya
Yes sir,
it's the Transylvania mania.
Whether you're in Ruritania
Or a dance hall in Albania
Yes sir,
it's the Transylvania mania.

Everybody who's been viewing it can't resist it's appeal.
Everybody's out there doing it, millionaire and schlemiel.
So join the fun, lets all be zany-a
Even Liths in Lithuania love it, it's the latest rage.
Lose the blues and don't complain-ia
hit the dance floor feel no pain-ia
Love it
do the Transylvania mania.

Frankenstein:
Just accept it don't refrain-ia.

Inga:
Don't resist it's all in vain-ia

Igor:
Come on kids lets raise some Cain-ia

Igor, Frankenstein and Inga:
Yes sir
Yes sir
it's the latest craze.

DANCE BREAK

Frankenstein:
It's the cherry pie without the pits

Inga:
It's the weekend spent in Biarritz.

Igor:
It's all the rage with the french and brits.

All:
The Transylvania mania.

Frankenstein:
It It's the newest quip from Algonquin wits

Inga:
It's the winning horse that never quits

Igor:
It's the Paprikash with an ice cold Schlitz.

All:
The Transylvania mania.
Do the Transylvania mania.

It's southern fried with a side of grits.
It's gentiles, Jews and jesuits

Inga and Igor:
it's a etude played by Horowitz

Frankenstein:
It's Irving Berlin's Puttin' on the Ritz!

DANCE BREAK

All:
Rich and poor are also chewing it in hotels or huts
even dogs are also doing it, pedigrees and mutts.
All the devils in Tasmania shake their tails and go insane-ia.
Love it, it's the latest rage.
Grab a steamship or a plane-ia
To the heart of old Roumania
Love it, yeah you're gonna love it
Do the transylvania mania-AHHHH

(Monster breaks in)

Frankenstein (Spoken):
What have I done? What have I done?

All:
Do the transylvania mania!

[Three Solo Villagers]
He's Loose!
He's Loose!
He's Loose, He's Loose, He's Loose!
He's Loose, He's Loose, He's Loose!
He's Loose!
He's Loose!
He's Loose!

[Igor]
Aghhh!

[Kemp]
They released a horror,
they released a fright!
Lurking in the darkness,
waiting in the night!

For this act of madness
There is no excuse!
Don't you see, he is free

[The Villagers]
He's Loose, He's loose, he's loose!

[Kemp]
He will sack our village,
He will break our backs!
He will rape and pillage,
stop him in his tracks!

[The Villagers]
Catch him by the neck
Put it in a noose!

Can't you see,
He is free!
He's loose!
He's loose!
He's loose!

[Frau Blucher]
Here, Creature! I won't hurt you!

[The Villagers]
Search the marshes,
ev'ry glade and glen!
Catch the monster before he strikes again!

[Kemp]
Bar your windows, lock your dwellings
Hello heartaches, goodbye kvellings
Ev'ryone!
Ev'ryone!

[The Villagers]
Search each hill and valley,
find which way he fled!
Comb each street and alley,
or else we'll all be dead!

[Kemp]
He's loose!
He's loose!

[The Villagers]
He's loose!
He's loose!
He's loose!
He's loose!
He's loose!
He's loose!
He's loose!

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

[Inga]
Let's forget about thinking.
Thinking's never smart.
Flush your brain right down the drain
and listen to your heart!

Let's be a couple of dumbbells,
Dumb right from the start.
Lose your mind, 'cause love it blind,
and listen to your heart!

Let's be stupid together,
not a thought in our head.
You'll find such bliss in, the kissin' you're missin',
so listen, listen to your heart!

As ev'rybody knows,
if it's sex they're thinking of,
intellectuals are ineffectuals
when it comes to making love.

Nietzsche always said he wouldn't,
Schopenhauer thought he shouldn't,
and as for Immanuel Kant,
Ev'ry girl in town knew that Kant,
couldn't.

Listen to your heart!

Listen to your heart!
Let's be blithering idiots,
singing love's sweet song.
We'll blither ev'ry morning,
and blither all night long!

Let's find things undiscovered,
Don't resist Cupid's dart,
You'll find such joy,
just being a boy,
So listen, listen to your heart!

[Thanks to Devyn, Lindsay for lyrics]

Elizabeth:
It's me, it's me!
It's me x 9
It's me, me, me, me, me
Me, me, me, me, me
Me

Frau Blucher:
And who are you, you, you, you, you
You, you, you, you, you
You?

Elizabeth: [Spoken]
Why I'm Elizabeth Benning, Dr. Frankenstein's adorable madcap fiance.
I'm sure he's spoken of me day and night.

Frau Blucher: [Spoken]
Never.
Well let me warn you Dr. Frankenstein may not be entirely happy with a surprise.

Elizabeth: [Spoken]
Au contraire.

Elizabeth:
Everybody loves to get a surprise. Life can be so dull without a surprise.
When your spirits dragging and your oh so blue, it all can change,
if your fates arranged a nice surprise for you.
All the world enjoys a lovely surprise. Life's a chore, a bore without a surprise.
When everything seems hopeless then you realize,
there's nothing like a wonderful surprise.

Elizabeth: [Spoken]
Allow me to present my entourage, I never travel without them.
Marcia, nails, Sasha, makeup, Tasha, hair,
Basha, wardrobe, and Bob my astrologer.

Ensemble:
Everybody loves to get a surprise.

Elizabeth:
Everybody loves a little surprise.

Ensemble:
No one could refuse a little surprise.

Elizabeth:
Protestants and Jews all love a surprise.

Ensemble:
When you're melancholy

Elizabeth:
Oh boo hoo, hoo

Ensemble:
And you start to cry

Elizabeth:
Don't you start to cry

Ensemble:
Cause a nice surprise will dry your eyes and troubles go bye, bye

Elizabeth:
Bye, bye

Frau and Igor:
Some folks don't appreciate a surprise.

Elizabeth:
No one could refuse a teeny weeny surprise.

Frau and Igor:
Specially if they're naked when their surprised

Elizabeth:
Everyone could use a lovely surprise

Frau and Igor:
If you know whats' doing

Elizabeth:
A surprise is brewing

Frau and Igor:
Here's what we advise, never bother people with a surprise.

Elizabeth:
Freddy, are you ready for a simply stunning surprise?
It's me x 4

Frau and Igor:
Some folks don't appreciate a surprise.

Elizabeth:
Freddy darling!
It's me x 5

Igor and Frau:
Specially if they're naked when their surprised

Elizabeth:
Stop your crying, don't be blue, it all can change, if a nice surprise's for you!
All the world enjoys a lovely surprise.

Igor and Frau:
Some folks don't appreciate a surprise,

Elizabeth:
Surprise!
Embrace the unexpected and let the fates devise a stunning,
cunning, wonderful surp...
Frederick!

Dr. Frankenstein:
Elizabeth!

Inga:
Scheiza

All:
Surprise!

[Hermit]
(spoken)
Oh, Lord, please take pity!
I'm blind and oh so lonely!

(sung)
Someone,
Send me someone
I need someone
Who will care

Someone,
Send me someone
A friend to end despair

Someone to comfort my soul,
Someone to make my life whole,
Can you hear me?

Someone,
I'm praying for someone,
I'm saying there's someone
Out there for me!

Each night I'm yearning,
Tossing and turning,
Dreaming my dream comes true!

Someone,
Please send me someone,
I'm so blue.

(spoken)
Oh, lordy. Look down on your poor blind hermit.
It's been so long since I felt the touch of someone's hand,
so long since I heard the sound of someone's voice.
Each night, all I hear is the wind in the trees, and if I'm lucky, an or maybe...a cricket.
Oh, Lord, let's face it, we're talkin' LONELY here.

(sung)
Can you hear me?
Someone,
I'm praying for someone,
I'm saying there's someone
Out there for me.

Each night I'm yearning,
Tossing and turning,
Dreaming my dream comes true!

Someone,
Please send me someone,
Dear God, send someone

[Monster crashes in]

Thank you!

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

[Frederick]
Now you're a creature,
a primitive soul,
you don't know your left from your right,
you're lost in the dark,
you need a spark,
to lead you into the light

I'll be that guide,
I'll be by your side,
I'll put you out of the mire,
you'll be the greatest creation of man
since the invention of fire!

You will walk
you will talk
ev'rybody witll gawk
at the Man About Town!

And I know
when you open that door,
you'll be cheered, never feared evermore!

Raise yor eyes to the skies,
there's no holding you down
You won't be a flash in the pan
You're the man...
The Man About Town!

Though you feel like a beast in a cage,
stick with me,
and you'll be
on the stage!

Throw your hat in the ring,
they might make you a king,
and you'll trade that hat for a crown,
You're the man,
You're the Man About Town!

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

Have you seen the well-to-do
Up and down Park Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
With their noses in the air

High hats and narrow collars
White spats and lots of dollars
Spending every dime
For a wonderful time

Now, if you're blue
And you don't know where to go to
Why don't you go where fashion sits
Puttin' on the Ritz
Different types who wear a daycoat
Pants with stripes and cutaway coat
Perfect fits
Puttin' on the Ritz

Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper
Super-duper

Come, let's mix where Rockefellers
Walk with sticks or "umberellas"
In their mitts
Puttin' on the Ritz

Tips his hat just like an English chappie
To a lady with a wealthy pappy
Very snappy

You'll declare it's simply topping
To be there and hear them swapping
Smart tidbits

[Elizabeth]
(spoken) Penny for your thoughts.
You know, until now my life has been nothing but a meaningless world of silly parties.
But I always sensed that something was missing. Love.
And I'm not talkin about puppy love either. A one night stand love or
cheap love. No, what I'm talkin about is-oh, what's the word I'm looking for-ah, yes.

(sung) Deep love. At last I've found deep love.
Been searching for deep love, for all of my life. Long love. Incredibley long
love. A constant and strong love, that rids me of strife. Firm love.
A gentle, but firm love. An unyeilding firm love, for this my heart cries.
Deep love. At last I've found deep love. Now I will keep love forever inside.

[Monster]
aaarrrggghhh!

[Elizabeth]
(giggles) Again? Oh, you're incouragable, aren't you, you ol' zipper neck.
Hmmm, well alright. Seven always has been my lucky number.
Come here you great big hot monster!

[Monster]
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

[Elizabeth]
(laughs)
Wh--what? What is it, what is the matter, is it--is it that music? Oh, forget it.
That's just some poor lonely fool blowin his french horn.
(monster groans)
Wh--where are you going? You're walking out on me? Me?!
Oh, you men are all alike.
Five or six quick ones and you're off with the boys to boast and brag.
WELL YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!
Oh, I think I love him.
(sung) Deep love. At last I found deep love.
Now I will keep love deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and
deeper and deeper forever inside! Forever inside!

[Thanks to Ben for lyrics]

[Kemp]
Do you have any last words before we string you up, Dr. Fronkensteen?

[Frederick]
Just this...
Though my time on earth is done,
Though I face this angry crowd
Though I'm hated and despised
Of one thing I can say I'm proud
This is truly mine
I'm a man who has no shame
I'm shouting out my family name
I am a Frankenstein!

[Thanks to Devyn for lyrics]

texttext

Monster (Sung)
Deep Love at last she's found deep love
been searching for deep love for all of her life
Hard love a time and like hard live
so love will you be my wife

Ensemble(Sung)
Deep Love at last they've found deep love
and now they will keep love
for ever inside

Hermit(Sung)
Someone, I'm beggin ya someone
I'm saying there's someone out there for me

Frau (spoken)
Excuse me, doctor, creature, everyone, I must go, I have a blind date

Igor(spoken)
Its a miracle, my hump, its gone

Crowd(spoken)
Yea

Igor(spoken)
Oh, Wait, its in the middle now

Dracula(spoken)
Excuse me, I was hoping to relocate to the Transylvania area.
I was hoping to purchase that castle on the hill there

Frederick(spoken)
oh that castle isn't for sale

Dracula(spoken)
Why

Frederick
(spoken)Because
(sung)I'm going to join the family business
learn the family trade
make another monster
make the world afraid

we will take a hay ride when we're on our honeymoon
we'll make the son of Frankenstein
the sequels coming soon

Inga(spoken)
So if the monster got half of your brain what did he ever give you in return

Frederick
*whisper*

Inga(spoken)
Woof!

Ensemble (sung)
Welcome to Transylvania
Where blessings fall from up above
and even monsters fall in love
the moon will always shine
on Young Frankenstein

[Thanks to Sam M for lyrics]